


Until It's Gone

by deathmarkedlove_archivist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmarkedlove_archivist/pseuds/deathmarkedlove_archivist
Summary: Buffy and Spike have been involved for two months. She’s still insisting that she has no feelings for him other than lust. It takes something tragic to open her eyes to her real feelings. But will it be enough to break down her walls and tell him the truth before it’s too late? NC-17





	Until It's Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing here. It’s all borrowed. Joss is the man, I’m merely a worshipper. Please don’t sue. I’m already poor.  
> Author’s note: This story takes place two months after the episode Smashed. Obviously, it’s all fantasy since I have no idea what really happens, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be this. (unfortunately!)
> 
> Summary: Buffy and Spike have been involved for two months. She’s still insisting that she has no feelings for him other than lust. It takes something tragic to open her eyes to her real feelings. But will it be enough to break down her walls and tell him the truth before it’s too late?
> 
> Rating: NC-17

Buffy opened her eyes groggily. For a moment, she had forgotten where she was. Then it dawned on her. She was in Spike’s bed. Again. She had tried so hard to stay away from him, but she just couldn’t do it. They had been involved now for two months. She was still trying to fight it, but somehow her resolve was beginning to weaken. Her excuses were getting flimsier and it was getting harder explaining it all away as bad judgment on her part.

 

Most of the time, she tried not to think about it at all. She just acted without weighing consequences. It was easier that way. She was in a strange place in her life. Being with him was fun. And even though it was really wrong, it felt really good. Spike was just a distraction, she tried to tell herself. But that’s all it really was. At least, that was all she was comfortable admitting right now.

 

She felt Spike begin to stir beside her, as she sat up and reached onto the floor to find her clothing. She felt his arm reach out and wrap around her waist.

 

“Are you trying to sneak away?” He asked sleepily.

 

“I wasn’t sneaking. But I am leaving.” She said, pulling her shirt over her head.

 

“Stay. It’s early still. There’s still more fun to be had.” He said suggestively, as he slid his hand under the sheet and up her inner thigh.

 

She smiled at his touch, and was temporarily lost in the moment. Then she pushed his hand aside.

 

“Stop it. I have to go. Dawn said she’d be home early from her friends house. I want to make sure I’m there before her.” Buffy explained as she stood up and finished putting her clothes on.

 

He sighed.

 

“Will I see you again tonight?” He asked.

 

She was searching for her shoes and didn’t answer him right away.

 

“Buffy?”

 

She looked up at him.

 

“What?”

 

“Am I gonna see you tonight?”

 

“Um, maybe. I don’t know.” She said casually.

 

“You wanna meet for a patrol and then we can do something…else?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

She looked at him skeptically.

 

“Do something else? Like what?” She asked.

 

“I don’t know. Each other?” He smirked.

 

She groaned and shook her head.

 

“You’re gross.”

 

“I know. So? Are we on?” He asked, nonplussed by her remark.

 

“I have to go now.” She said as she pulled on her jacket and started to leave.

 

“So I’ll see you about nine then?” He called after her.

 

She turned and sighed.

 

“You know I’m gonna be here, so you might as well stop asking.” She admitted.

 

He smiled and watched her leave. He did know she would come by. She always did. But he also knew that it was like a game to her to pretend it didn’t matter whether they saw each other or not. He played along, but it was getting a little tiring. He wondered if she’d ever give up the fight entirely.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy walked into her house quietly. She had gotten pretty good at sneaking in undetected. Willow was still living with her and she didn’t know anything about her and Spike. In fact, nobody did. She didn’t really want to tell anyone. Besides the fact that Willow was hardly ever around lately. She had her own problems and Buffy had to admit, they didn’t talk much anymore. Sometimes, Buffy missed the way things used to be. But she knew nothing could ever really be the same after everything that had happened.

 

She crept up the stairs and ran into Willow who had just been coming down. They both jumped a little, not expecting to see anyone there.

 

“Buffy! Are you just getting home?” Willow asked.

 

“Um, yeah. Busy night.” Buffy lied.

 

“Yeah. I-I just got home myself actually.” Willow admitted quietly.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, I mean, I knew Dawn wasn’t going to be here and you’re always patrolling…”

 

“Right. Well, I’m gonna take a shower.” Buffy said quickly.

 

“Okay.” Willow smiled.

 

Neither one of them wanted the other to know where they had really been or what they had been up to. Willow was still dabbling in dangerous magic and Buffy was still meeting Spike for illicit encounters. They were both keeping secrets and that was the main reason that they didn’t talk anymore. There wasn’t anything that they wanted to share.

 

That evening Buffy headed out for her usual patrol. She knew she was going to end up at Spike’s place eventually, so she just went there first. At least then he could help her out. In fact, he was the only one who ever went with her nowadays. Her friends always had something else going on. She didn’t really mind though. Spike was a good, strong partner. _In more ways than one…_ She thought with a devious grin.

 

She pushed open his door and found him sitting in his chair. He smiled when he saw her.

 

“You’re early.” He grinned.

 

“Yeah, well, I like to be unpredictable.” She shrugged.

 

He went over to her and leaned in for a kiss. She felt her body react immediately to his touch. She’d never been this hot for anyone before. It was crazy. She couldn’t think about anything else but touching him. And apparently the feeling was mutual. She felt his hand slide under her shirt and before she would allow herself to enjoy his caress, she pushed him back.

 

“Will you quit it? We have work to do first. Remember? Patrol and then the something else part.” She said shaking her head.

 

“I thought you liked to be unpredictable?”

 

She gave him an annoyed look.

 

“Can we just go and get this over with. You make it hard for me to concentrate.” She said irritably.

 

“Fine. All work and no play—.”

 

“Be quiet or I won’t take you with me.”

 

He smirked and headed out the door after her. They walked through the cemetery and Buffy tried to keep her distance from him. It was true that she couldn’t concentrate when he was with her. But she liked having the company on patrol. She liked being with _him_. But she knew she could never tell him that.

 

They walked up near a mausoleum and heard voices. They crept up alongside the building and saw three vampires huddled together talking. One of them held a large crystal in his hands. Buffy and Spike stopped to try and overhear their conversation.

 

“What are they saying?” Buffy whispered.

 

“I don’t know. I can’t hear if you keep yammering.” Spike whispered back.

 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Then she strained her ears to hear the conversation better.

 

“Once we figure out how to use it, it will be easy. Just a simple phrase and suddenly there’s no Slayer. It’s brilliant.” They heard the vampire say.

 

Buffy looked at Spike concerned.

 

“That doesn’t sound good.” She whispered.

 

“No, it doesn’t.” He agreed.

 

“Guess we should introduce ourselves.” She said without enthusiasm.

 

He nodded and they both leapt out to confront the group. The vampires were caught off guard, but not unprepared. They immediately began putting up a substantial fight. It was clear that these were not useless minions. They were strong and capable. They were definitely giving Buffy and Spike a run for their money.

 

Buffy had one of them cornered and was able to kick him in the face. He went reeling back and crashed into the stone wall of the crypt. Spike managed to dust the smallest of the three and was starting over towards the other one. The crystal that they were holding was now lying on the ground at the foot of a headstone.

 

The vampire that Buffy was fighting noticed it and shouted out to the other.

 

“The crystal! Get it! Take it back to Overhoff!” He shouted.

 

Spike lunged for the vampire, just as Buffy was shoved to the ground by her attacker. He leapt on top of her and punched her across the mouth. She struggled against him. The other vampire, kicked Spike off of him and he went hurtling into the stone wall. The vampire grabbed the crystal and took off running.

 

By a stroke of luck, Buffy gripped her stake and plunged it into the vampires back. He exploded into ash, and Buffy pulled herself to her feet and hurried over to Spike.

 

She grabbed him off the ground.

 

“Come on! He’s getting away.” She shouted.

 

Spike got up and they both took off running. They ran for a few minutes until it was clear that the vampire was long gone and nowhere to be seen. Buffy stopped to catch her breath.

 

“Damn it! He got away. He must have been some kind of marathon runner.” She said irritated at their failure.

 

“Yeah, that bugger was like a panther.” Spike said breathlessly.

 

“Well, that’s just great. Now he’s got that stupid crystal. And I wonder who the hell Overhoff is?” Buffy said shaking her head.

 

“Come on. Maybe we can figure out where he went.” Spike took her hand and pulled her along with him.

 

“Forget it. He’s long gone. Let’s just hope that they can’t figure out how to use that thing. Whatever it is. Or else it looks like I might not be here long.”

 

“I’m sure it’s nothing. It just looked like a big shiny rock to me.” Spike said trying to be comforting.

 

“Yeah, well, I’ve known some big shiny rocks to be pretty dangerous.”

 

“So what do you wanna do?” He asked becoming exasperated at her indecision.

 

“Nothing. Let’s just get out of here.” She said, taking off walking in the opposite direction.

 

He shook his head and turned to follow her.

 

“What is wrong with you?” He asked.

 

“Nothing. I’m just irritated that he got away. That shouldn’t have been that hard for me.” She complained.

 

“Well, they were pretty tough.” He shrugged.

 

“Not _that_ tough. I think I’m slipping.” She sighed.

 

“Slipping? Nah, it was just a tough break. We’ll find the guy eventually.”

 

She turned to face him.

 

“I think you’re distracting me.”

 

“What? How did I distract you?” He asked defensively.

 

“Just by being here.”

 

“Oh please.” He scoffed.

 

“It’s true. This thing between us? It’s just…too much. I mean, when I’m with you, I can’t think straight.” She tried to explain.

 

“I feel the same way. Isn’t it wonderful?” He asked with a smile.

 

She groaned and shook her head.

 

“No! It’s bad. Can’t you see that? Ugh! Just forget it. I’m going home.” She said, stomping away from him.

 

He stood there shaking his head. He had no idea what had just happened. She was beginning to drive him crazy and not in a good way. She ran so hot and cold all the time, that his head was beginning to spin. He never knew what to expect and half the time she got angry with him for seemingly no reason. He wished he could just walk away from this mess too, but he couldn’t. He still loved her, though he was questioning why a lot more lately.

 

Buffy walked into her house and threw her jacket onto the couch. She called out for Dawn or Willow and got no response. She headed into the kitchen to find something to eat. On the fridge she found a note from Dawn.

 

_Buffy-_

 

_I went to the movies with Tara. You and Willow weren’t around, so Tara said I could stay at her house tonight. Hope that’s okay._

 

_Dawn_

Buffy picked the note off the refrigerator and tossed it onto the counter. She felt a twinge of guilt for the way she’d been neglecting Dawn lately. She didn’t mean to, but it just seemed like everything in her life was so crazy right now. She actually hoped that maybe tonight they could hang out for a change. Buffy wanted something to take her mind off of where she really wanted to be right now, which was with Spike.

 

She didn’t even know why she had gotten angry and stomped away from him. It was stupid. But he was distracting. Mainly because she was so confused as to what she was doing with him in the first place. It was so ridiculous. She never in a million years thought she’d be sleeping with him, much less so consumed by thoughts of him that she couldn’t even think half the time.

 

She opened up the refrigerator and stared into it. Suddenly, she wasn’t hungry anymore. She was antsy. She had come home prepared to spend the evening with Dawn and now that she wasn’t here, she was already bored. Bored and restless.

 

She slammed the fridge shut and walked out into the living room. She grabbed her jacket and headed back out the door. She realized how pathetic she seemed going to see Spike after she had just left him in a huff. But she really didn’t care. He’d get on her case about it for five seconds. But then she’d just rip his clothes off and he’d forget that she was mad at him before anyway. That’s the way things worked with the two of them.

 

She walked into his crypt and found it empty. She decided to head downstairs and see if he was there. As she made her way down the ladder, she was startled when she felt strong hands around her waist. She was pulled off the ladder forcefully and pushed up against the wall. Spike held her pinned with a smirk on his face.

 

“What do you think you’re doing here?” He asked.

 

“Let go of me.” She said angrily.

 

“You think you can just come in here whenever you feel like it? You never even knock. I could have been entertaining someone down here.” He said pressing himself up against her.

 

“Right. Like who? I’m the only one who’s stupid enough to come over here.” She said with a smirk.

 

“I could have had a lady down here. Someone who appreciates me more than you do.” He said with a serious look.

 

She glared at him, and felt her stomach turn. For some reason the thought of him ‘entertaining’ another girl bothered her immensely. It wasn’t like she really considered them an item or anything. And she didn’t even want to consider calling him her ‘boyfriend’. But the idea that he might find someone else to ‘entertain’, stung her a lot more than she wanted it to.

 

She decided to play it off instead of acting wounded.

 

“I wish you would find someone else. Then maybe you’d leave me alone.” She told him.

 

“Is that what you _really_ want?” He asked, knowing that it wasn’t.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Alright then.”

 

They stared at each other intently as he continued to hold her against the wall. His gaze was so intense that it felt like it was burning a hole through her. Her mind went blank and she couldn’t think of anything else to say. So instead, she just lunged forward and began kissing him forcefully. He responded by releasing her shoulders allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck.

 

He grabbed her bottom and picked her up off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist. She leaned her body forward into his and he lost his balance. They tumbled to the ground with her on top of him. He smiled up at her and ran his hands underneath her shirt. She bent down and began kissing him again.

 

He could feel her tongue circling his forcefully and his pants were becoming tighter. She was so wild, he didn’t think he could ever get enough of this or her. All of the grief and head games were worth it, just to wind up like this in the end.

 

He grabbed her shoulders and flipped her around so that now he was in control. He pinned her arms above her head and began kissing his way down the side of her neck, gently nibbling at the sensitive flesh along the way. He heard her moan out his name softly and he smiled into her neck. He loved it when she said his name like that. It sent shivers down his spine.

 

She managed to break free of his grasp and pushed him off of her. She stood up and grabbed his hand to pull him up with her. He looked at her hungrily as she led him by the hand over to his bed. She let go of him and turned to climb onto the mattress. He watched as she laid herself back against his pillows with her arms above her head. It was a gesture that suggested she was offering herself to him. He wasn’t about to refuse.

 

He climbed onto the bed and crawled over to her like a cat stalking its prey. She smiled as he ran his hands under her shirt and lifted it over her head. He tossed it aside and she reached down to remove his shirt as well. He kissed his way up her bare stomach, until he reached her breasts. He removed her bra and began sucking gently on her already hardened nipples.

 

She tossed her head back and enjoyed the sensation of his mouth and hands exploring her body. This was why she couldn’t stay away from him. When he was touching her, everything else just melted away. Nothing mattered but the two of them. The entire room could collapse around them, and she wouldn’t even know. In fact, that had happened the first time they were together. They had knocked down an entire building, and she didn’t even realize it until afterward. That was how much he consumed her.

 

He trailed his hand down her stomach and slid his hand underneath the waistband of her sweatpants. She closed her eyes as she felt his fingers slide underneath the fabric of her panties. He gently began to caress her wetness and she bit her lip at the sensation. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up to meet her mouth that was eager for his kiss.

 

Her fingers swiftly undid the button on his jeans and she pulled the zipper down nimbly. She had gotten quite good at this in the time they had been together. She found herself never being able to wait to have him.

 

Her small, powerful hand gripped him tightly and she began to caress him. He groaned loudly and closed his eyes. He enjoyed her touch immensely, and found that he didn’t want to contain himself much longer. He pulled back from her and removed his pants and shoes fully. He pulled hers off as well, and tossed them to the ground. As he hovered over her, she admired his body appreciatively.

 

Everything about him was beautiful, she realized. His chest was perfectly muscled. And his eyes were so blue. His arms were well defined but not bulging. She was always a sucker for nice arms. And as her eyes traveled lower, she couldn’t help but appreciate his other attributes as well. Nothing to complain about there, that was for sure. He was perfect. Except for one tiny thing. He was a vampire. Which wasn’t exactly a tiny thing. It was a pretty big flaw. But it was one she refused to think about now. She pulled him down against her warm body and began kissing him again.

 

His hand returned between her thighs and she felt him rubbing his fingers over her slick heat. She then felt his fingers slide into her. She gasped out and gripped his shoulders. He began moving his fingers slowly, caressing her from the inside. He kissed his way down her neck and she buried her face in his shoulder. She could feel herself nearing orgasm, and she raised her hips up to bring his fingers deeper. She wanted him inside her, but she knew that there was plenty of time for that later.

 

As she began to come, she dug her nails into his back and bit down on his shoulder to stifle her cries. It pleased him to know that he could send her over the edge so easily. He brought his hand up and looked down at her as she lay breathlessly with her eyes closed.

 

“You bit me.” He said with a seductive smile.

 

“I did?” She was still trying to get her senses back.

 

“Yeah. Do I get to play too?” He asked.

 

She opened her eyes and looked at him curiously.

 

“What?”

 

“I asked if I get to play.”

 

“You want to bite me?” She asked, suddenly feeling nervous around him for the first time in a long while.

 

“You don’t want me to?” He asked innocently.

 

“No, I don’t want you to.” She told him seriously.

 

“Really?” He asked with a smirk. Then he bent down to kiss her.

 

His lips traveled from hers, down the side of her neck. For a second she almost panicked. She had no idea what she was about to let him do. She knew she should just push him off of her, but something inside wouldn’t let her do it. She felt as his teeth brushed against the skin of her neck and she drew in a deep breath.

 

He bit down gently with his human teeth, then looked into her eyes and smiled. She felt a small wave of relief go through her when she realized he wasn’t seriously going to bite her. But then she felt a pang of shame when she realized she was going to let him do it anyway. She trusted him that much. That thought frightened her just a little.

 

But she forgot about that quickly as he began kissing and gently biting his way down her body, until he reached the fire that burned between her legs. He pushed her thighs apart and bent down to taste her. She cried out when she felt him suck her into his mouth, playfully letting his teeth run over her most sensitive flesh.

 

She reached up and grabbed onto the headboard. He listened to her moans and felt her body tensing up around him again. He ran his tongue over her one last time and moved up to kiss her once more. She let out an unsatisfied whimper when she noticed he had stopped short of finishing the job he was doing.

 

“Don’t stop.” She whispered into his ear.

 

“I won’t.” He said as he thrust himself into her warmth.

 

She gasped in shock as the sensation of him filling her was almost too much to bear. She gripped the headboard tighter. He thrust into her deeply and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She kissed him feverishly and he pulled himself back and looked at her. Their eyes met and they held their gaze for a long time.

 

She could get lost in those eyes, she thought to herself. They matched hers with desire, but there was something more behind them. There was love there. She knew it. She tried not to think about it, or notice it, but it was always there. Finally she squeezed her eyes shut to try and block his loving gaze out of her mind.

 

He buried his face in her neck and began sucking it and nipping at it with his teeth again. It made her shudder and she felt his thrusts getting deeper and faster. She couldn’t hold on and released her grip on the headboard to wrap her arms around him tightly as they both became completely consumed by each other. Buffy almost felt as if she were floating.

 

Her nails were scratching along his back, as he delivered his final thrusts. She felt his tongue on her skin and his teeth biting along her shoulder. She moved her face to the side, desperately seeking his lips. He crushed his mouth to hers, and she felt herself beginning to come. As the first wave of pleasure hit her, she unconsciously bit down on his lip, to keep from crying out.

 

The sweet pleasure of pain swept over him and he felt his release overcome him. He never needed anyone like this. He wanted to stay wrapped in her forever. He buried his face in her neck as his orgasm began to subside.

 

Exhausted, he collapsed on top of her body and closed his eyes. She felt so soft and warm, he never wanted to move. But he didn’t want to crush her, since she actually needed to breathe. He rolled over, bringing her with him.

 

She lay her head down on his chest and sighed contentedly. Then she looked up at him.

 

“Just so you know, if I ever come down here and you’re entertaining another lady friend? I’ll kill you.” She said with a small smile.

 

She hadn’t forgotten his earlier taunting, and much as it annoyed her, she just couldn’t let it go.

 

He laughed slightly.

 

“You know there isn’t anyone else for me but you.” He told her.

 

She lowered her head again and closed her eyes.

 

“Yeah, I know.” She whispered softly.

 

“Though, it might be kind of fun to see you get all jealous and possessive over me.” He added with a smirk.

 

She raised her head and shot him an irritated look.

 

“I would not be jealous.” She protested.

 

“Really?” He asked sarcastically.

 

“Yes, really. I’d be pissed. There’s a difference.”

 

He chuckled and shook his head.

 

“And why would you be pissed unless you were jealous?”

 

She tried to think of something witty to say, but words escaped her.

 

“Just shut up.” She said finally.

 

“Okay. But you started this conversation, not me.” He protested with an amused smile.

 

“Well, I’m ending it.” She told him as she laid her head down on his chest again.

 

He knew he was getting to her. She spent most of her free time with him, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, they were most definitely in some sort of relationship. It was twisted and crazy, but it was still a relationship. Someday he knew she’d have to admit that. He had time. He could wait. He just hoped it wouldn’t be forever.

 

* * * * *

 

Buffy slept soundly at Spike’s side. They had been up most of the night, and she was exhausted. She’d never seen anyone with the stamina he had. No one except herself, anyway. It was exciting and exhilarating to have someone who could actually keep up with her. And not get broken when she got a little carried away.

 

She began stir and scooted over closer to him. She smiled when she felt his hand instinctively slide onto her stomach and rest there comfortably. She knew it was wrong to feel so contented with him. No one would ever approve of or understand what they had. Her friends would completely freak out. _Oh no. My friends…_ She thought suddenly as she sprang up in the bed. Spike groaned beside her and rolled over.

 

“Oh my God. What time is it?” She asked him.

 

He opened an eye and glanced at the small clock he had on his nightstand.

 

“It’s nine.” He grumbled.

 

“Oh crap! I’ve got to get out of here.” She said as she jumped out of his bed and scrambled to search for her clothes.

 

“What’s the rush? I thought you said Dawn was at Tara’s?” He asked sleepily.

 

“She is.” Buffy said absently as she sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her pants on.

 

He pulled her down onto the bed again with him.

 

“Then get back over here. We have all day.” He told her suggestively.

 

“No, we don’t. I totally forgot I was supposed to meet everyone at the Magic Box before the store opened for an unofficial Scooby meeting. Now I’m gonna be late.” She said, pushing him away from her as she stood up.

 

“Forget the meeting. If you’re already late, then what’s a few more minutes?” He asked trying to be persuasive.

 

She pulled her shirt on and slipped her shoes onto her feet.

 

“You don’t understand. This isn’t a normal meeting. This is about the wedding. Anya wanted everyone together so she could go over arrangements or something like that. I wasn’t really paying attention. All I know is that Xander will be pissed if I’m late.” She explained.

 

“Am I invited?” He asked.

 

“To the meeting? No. Its kind of daylight outside.” She said as she pulled her jacket on.

 

“No, I meant to the wedding.”

 

“Are you crazy? _Xander’s_ wedding? Are you forgetting that you hate each other?” She asked.

 

He shrugged.

 

“Yeah, I know. But I could be your date.” He teased.

 

“Oh yeah, that would go over real well. Talk about ruining his special day. And maybe for a wedding present we could let him walk in on us doing it in a broom closet during the reception.” She joked.

 

“Could we?” He asked with a smirk.

 

“Ugh. I’ll see you later.” She said with a groan, as she headed up the ladder and out of his sight.

 

Buffy rushed over to the magic shop and hoped she wouldn’t be too late. Maybe everyone else had overslept too and she wouldn’t have to feel as guilty. She pushed open the door and walked in hurriedly.

 

Xander was waiting for her.

 

“Buffy, where were you?” He asked.

 

“Sorry. I know I’m late. Where is everyone?” She asked, looking around the room.

 

“They’re in the training room. Anya has some kind of presentation that she prepared. Something about fabric swatches and wedding cake samples. It’s not really a guy thing.” He said shaking his head.

 

“Sounds fun. I guess we better get in there.” Buffy said nervously as she tried to walk past him.

 

He reached out and grabbed her arm.

 

“Hey, Buff? Where were you?” He asked seriously.

 

“What?”

 

“Well, Willow said you didn’t come home last night, and you seem a little…I don’t know, edgy.” He said with concern.

 

“Uh, yeah. I was just patrolling and it got real late. Or I guess I should say early, since its morning now.” She laughed nervously.

 

Xander looked her over and took in her slightly disheveled appearance.

 

“What’s that on your neck?” He asked her curiously.

 

Her eyes grew wide and she clutched at her neck with both hands.

 

“What? What is it?” She asked.

 

“That thing.” Xander pointed to her neck. “It looks like a hickey.”

 

“A hickey? Oh please. It’s just a bruise or something. You know how it is, fighting the forces of darkness and all that. You’re bound to get a battle wound once in awhile. ” She said a little too quickly.

 

She had totally forgotten that things had gotten a little bite-y last night. She had left in such a hurry, and Spike didn’t exactly have a mirror for her to look in.

 

Xander watched her nervousness carefully and could tell that she was hiding something.

 

“Are you seeing someone?” He asked.

 

“Me? Seeing someone? No.” She protested.

 

“Well, it’s just that Willow says that you don’t come home a lot. And when you do, it’s really late. And then the hickey…” He said pointedly.

 

“It’s not a hickey. It’s a bruise. And since when do you and Willow keep a log of my comings and goings?” She asked defensively.

 

“We don’t. Look, we were just a little worried. But if you’ve found someone, that’s cool. It’s wonderful, in fact. I mean, we just want you to be happy, that’s all.” He explained.

 

Buffy relaxed a little and smiled at him.

 

“I’m sorry if I’ve worried you guys. I’m fine. Really.”

 

“Good. So, who is this guy and when do we get to meet him?” He asked with a smile.

 

“Never. There is no guy.”

 

Xander realized that she wasn’t going to tell him so he decided to drop it. But he wasn’t stupid. He knew a hickey when he saw one. He’d had plenty of them. Anya had been known to get a little wild sometimes too. He figured Buffy would share when she was ready.

 

“Okay. Look, we better get back there before Anya throws a fit. The store opens in less than an hour and I have a feeling she’s going to be long winded about this.” Xander smiled.

 

He put his arm across Buffy’s shoulder and they walked back into the training room. Buffy was relieved that he dropped the whole ‘hickey’ matter. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid as to let him see that. She didn’t think he really bought her story, but as long as he didn’t press her for further details, she’d be okay.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Across town, a small group of vampires were huddled in an abandoned office building. They were on the top floor of the ten story building. They had taken it upon themselves to paint the windows black to shield themselves from the harsh rays of the sun.

 

On a table, sat the crystal that the vampire had managed to run off with last night. A large vampire with long scraggly hair stepped forward and touched the crystal lightly. He looked over at his lackey.

 

“Johnny and Mike didn’t make it, but I made sure that the Slayer didn’t get her hands on this.” The vampire explained to Overhoff, their vampire leader.

 

“Good work, Jacob. Though it is a shame that the others were not capable enough to save themselves. Good help is so hard to find these days.” Overhoff sighed.

 

He picked up the crystal and examined it carefully.

 

“The infamous Looking Glass.” Overhoff said appreciatively. “No one has been able to find this until now. Boys, this will truly be a moment in history.” He smiled.

 

“Boss, when do we do the spell?” One of his followers asked.

 

“Tomorrow at sunrise.” Overhoff explained.

 

“Sunrise? But isn’t that a little risky? You know, sun and all that?” The vampire asked nervously.

 

“No, you moron. We do it in here. We don’t actually have to see the sunrise for it to work. It has to do with cosmic alignments.” He snapped irritated at his lackey.

 

“Oh. But, how does it work?” He asked.

 

“First there is preparation. The Looking Glass must be enchanted. Then after the dawn has broken, you make your wish. In this case, we wish that vampire Slayers will cease to exist.” He explained.

 

“It’s a great plan, boss.” Jacob smiled, kissing Overhoff’s ass.

 

“Of course it is. I thought of it.” Overhoff scoffed. “Now, leave me alone while I get the preparations in order.” He waved them away with a flick of his wrist.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

That evening, Spike headed towards Buffy’s house. He had decided to bring her some flowers. They had shared another amazing night together, and he felt like he wanted to give her something. He knew she’d probably give him a hard time about it, but it might be just what she needed to see that he really did love her. And maybe it would soften her hardened heart towards him a little. At least that was what he was hoping for.

 

As he reached the edge of his cemetery, he ran into Xander. He had been coming to see Spike to find out if he knew anything about where Buffy had been spending her time lately. He didn’t think Spike would tell him, but it was worth a shot.

 

“Spike.” He said flatly.

 

“Harris. What are you doing out here alone? Lookin’ to get killed?”

 

“No, I was coming to see you actually.” He told him. Then he noticed the flowers. “What are those?”

 

“They call them flowers, you nit wit.”

 

“I know that. But why do you have them?”

 

“I don’t really see where it’s any business of yours.” Spike told him.

 

“Did you steal them off a grave?” Xander asked.

 

“No, I bought them.”

 

“For who?”

 

“You are awfully nosy, aren’t you? If you must know, they’re for my lady.” Spike smiled.

 

Xander started laughing uncontrollably.

 

“Your lady? That’s hilarious. Did you have another sexbot built?” Xander asked between his laughter.

 

Spike didn’t find the humor in the situation.

 

“No, I didn’t. I have someone real this time.”

 

“She must be really desperate.” Xander said sarcastically.

 

Spike bristled at his comments.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I said to Anya the other day.” He shot back at him.

 

Xander stopped laughing.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Oh, what? You can dish it out, but not take it?” Spike asked.

 

“Look, I don’t care who the unlucky girl is, just as long as this means you’re over your whole Buffy obsession thing.” Xander told him.

 

“First off, it’s not an obsession. And second, who said I was over it?” Spike asked.

 

“I bet your new girlfriend would love to know that you’re still obsessing over someone else.” Xander said shaking his head.

 

Spike was sick of Xander and his comments. He wasn’t going to let him attempt to humiliate him anymore. He looked at Xander pointedly.

 

“I’m not obsessing over someone else.”

 

Xander looked at him with confusion for a moment. Then his eyes wandered to Spike’s neck where a large, purple mark resided. It was almost identical to the one Buffy had. The wheels in his head began turning, and he wasn’t liking the conclusions he was jumping to.

 

“What are you talking about?” He asked nervously.

 

“Use your head, mate. What do you think I’m talking about?”

 

Xander shook his head vigorously.

 

“No. You better not be suggesting what I think you’re suggesting.”

 

“I’m not _suggesting_ anything.” Spike said innocently.

 

Xander glanced at Spike’s neck again.

 

“What happened to your neck?” He asked.

 

Spike tried to see what Xander was seeing, but it was in a spot that wasn’t visible to him. But he wagered he knew what it was. Buffy had gotten a little feisty last night, just as he had. Undoubtedly, the proof of that was written all over him. Literally.

 

“Love bite?” Spike offered.

 

“No. I mean… No. Buffy had…Just like that…No, it can’t be.” Xander rambled to himself.

 

Spike chuckled.

 

“Buffy too, huh? Guess we just got a little carried away. But you know how it is when you’re shagging. Sometimes you just can’t control yourself.” Spike smirked.

 

Xander hauled back and punched Spike across the face.

 

“Shut up! You and Buffy did not ‘shag’.” Xander spat out distastefully.

 

Spike rubbed his jaw and shook his head. Then he smiled.

 

“Poor Xander. Just can’t handle the truth, huh? Buffy and I are together. In fact, we have been for months. You and the rest of the Scoobies are just too wrapped up in your own pathetic lives to notice.” Spike told him.

 

Xander was in shock. Up until this morning, he had no idea that Buffy was involved with anyone, much less Spike. Never in a billion years would he have guessed that it was Spike she was seeing. It was a sickening thought. But suddenly Xander realized why Buffy wouldn’t tell him who it was.

 

“What did you do to her? How did you get her to do this? Is it mind control or something? A spell? Blackmail? Tell me!” Xander asked frantically grabbing Spike’s jacket lapels.

 

“I didn’t do anything to her. In fact, she’s the one who can’t keep her hands off me. Not that I tried to stop her, mind you. But this wasn’t my doing. Guess she finally realized that I was the one for her.” Spike shrugged.

 

Xander shoved him away and Spike straightened his rumpled jacket.

 

“Buffy’s obviously insane right now. She would never sleep with you if she wasn’t. Just stay away from her.” He told him angrily.

 

“I don’t have to do anything. This is not your business.”

 

“Buffy _is_ my business, and I’m not going to let you destroy her life.” Xander hissed.

 

Spike glared at him.

 

“I’m not the one who destroyed her life. As I recall, it was Willow and you and the rest of Buffy’s poor excuse for friends, who yanked her out of Heaven. I’m the one who helped her pick up the pieces. Who do you think she talked to when she got back? Who do you think she told the truth to about where she was? Who saved her life when she wanted to dance herself back into death? It was me. All along it was me. Not you. Not Willow. Me. I love her, and I don’t give a damn if you approve or not. So stay out of this.” Spike told him heatedly.

 

“She doesn’t love you. She’ll never love you. Obviously she’s ashamed of you, or she wouldn’t be hiding it from everyone. And if she’s sleeping with you, it’s only because she’s desperate. It has nothing to do with you. You’re just a convenience to her.” Xander said hurtfully.

 

Spike felt the sting behind his words. Buffy had said the same thing to him after their first night together. Now Xander echoed her earlier sentiments. Spike despised the fact that Xander could hurt him with words, and he refused to let it show.

 

“Think what you want. In the end, Buffy’s mine whether you like it or not. And sooner or later, she will realize that she loves me.” Spike told him confidently.

 

“You’re living in a dream, pal. Buffy would never love a dead, useless, thing like you.” Xander said cruelly.

 

Spike had heard enough. He didn’t care anymore about his chip or Buffy being angry with him. He tossed the flowers to the ground and smashed his fist into Xander’s jaw. Xander reeled back and Spike clutched his head in agony. As the pain subsided, he glared at Xander who was still holding his face with a look of surprise.

 

“I think you’re just jealous. You never could get her attention, could you? It’s never been you, and that makes you sick. I may be a useless, dead, thing, but Buffy would still rather be with me than you. That’s gotta hurt, huh?” Spike asked.

 

“That has nothing to do with it.”

 

“It has everything to do with it, and you know it.”

 

Xander wasn’t sure what to say. Admittedly, there was some truth to what he said, but Xander would never say that to Spike. Or anyone else for that matter. He pulled himself together and got into Spike’s face.

 

“If you hurt her, I swear I will kill you.”

 

Spike smiled.

 

“I’m not gonna hurt her. I love her. When are you going to realize that?”

 

“I don’t wanna realize that.”

 

“Well, you better start, cause this isn’t going away.” Spike bent down and picked up the discarded flowers. Then he looked at Xander. “Get out of my way. Buffy’s waiting for me.”

 

He pushed past Xander and walked off towards Buffy’s house. Xander hung his head and gritted his teeth. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. He knew Buffy had been hurting and confused. And he even knew that she spent too much time with Spike. But the thought never even crossed his mind that they were together in any way, shape or form. He realized how stupid and blind he had really been.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy was pulling on her jacket, getting ready to go out on patrol when the doorbell rang. She opened it and didn’t see anyone there. Then she looked down and saw a bouquet of roses at her feet. She smiled and picked them up. Then she looked around curiously to see who left them.

 

“Who’s at the door?” Dawn called out from the kitchen.

 

“No one.” Buffy answered her, still holding the roses. “I’m gonna go outside and check things out.”

 

Then she saw Spike move out from behind the tree with a grin on his face. She stepped outside and shut the door quickly behind her.

 

“What are you doing lurking out here?” She asked him.

 

“You like the flowers?” He asked.

 

“These are from you?”

 

“Who else would they be from?” He asked her.

 

She looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to say.

 

“Wow. Flowers? That’s really…normal of you.” She said with a confused expression.

 

“Normal? I was kind of hoping for incredibly romantic.” He said unsure of her reaction.

 

She nodded her head quickly.

 

“Yeah. It is. Romantic. I-I just didn’t realize we were doing the whole ‘romantic’ thing.” She said nervously.

 

All of a sudden, this sweet gesture made her panic. She wasn’t sure why, except that it seemed to imply that he thought this thing between them was serious. That he thought of them as a couple. She had been convincing herself all along that this was completely superficial and was nothing more than incredible sex. He wasn’t supposed to be bringing her flowers. That just made it a little too real for her.

 

“You don’t like them?” He asked disappointed that she wasn’t happier.

 

“I do. They’re great. Really pretty. I-I just…never mind. Thanks.” She said with a small smile.

 

“Well, you better like them after the crap I had to take from Harris over them.” Spike said shaking his head.

 

Buffy’s eyes grew wide.

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, I ran into him on my way over. Course he had to say something rude about it.” Spike sighed.

 

“You didn’t tell them they were for me, did you?” She asked anxiously.

 

“Yeah. Eventually.” He shrugged.

 

“What?! You told him you were bringing me flowers? What else did you tell him?” She asked feeling the panic and anger rise in her chest.

 

“Relax. What are you getting so worked up about?” He asked her.

 

“Please tell me that you didn’t say anything to him about us.” She pleaded.

 

Spike realized that she was probably going to be less than thrilled that he let the cat out of the bag. He hadn’t meant to, but the conversation just went that way. He looked at his feet.

 

“I might have mentioned something.” He admitted softly.

 

Buffy threw her hands up in the air and began pacing around.

 

“Are you insane? My god! I can’t believe you told him!” She yelled.

 

“Look, what’s the big deal? If he had half a brain he would have figured it out on his own anyway. Besides he was the one who kept pressing me for details about my girlfriend. It just kind of slipped out.” He explained.

 

“Your _girlfriend?_ Is that what you think I am?” She asked angrily.

 

“Well, yeah.”

 

“Ugh! I am _not_ your girlfriend. We are not a couple. This is just about sex. Meaningless sex. That’s the only reason I’m wasting my time with you.” She stated firmly, trying to will herself to believe it.

 

Spike was deeply hurt and angered by her words.

 

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

 

“No, it’s not. I’ve told you before that I don’t love you. When are you gonna give up this stupid fantasy of yours? And these flowers? Were they supposed to melt my heart so I would declare how much I love you?” She asked him hurtfully.

 

He felt like crying and beating her senseless at the same time. She was impossible. Nothing he ever did was right, or good enough for her. His patience was wearing thin. He walked over to her and yanked the roses out of her hands.

 

“I gave you these because I thought you would like them. I guess a cold bitch such as yourself doesn’t appreciate things like that. As for our relationship? You are the one who’s living in a fantasy. You honestly think that there isn’t anything between us? You’re either in denial or just plain blind.” He told her angrily.

 

“There isn’t anything between us. Not anymore. This whole thing was a stupid, stupid mistake. No one was ever supposed to know about it. And now you’ve made a mess of things. Why couldn’t you just keep your big mouth shut?” She asked with tears springing to her eyes.

 

“Because. Why should I? I’m not ashamed of what we have.”

 

“Well, I am. I’m ashamed and humiliated. Now I’ve got to explain this to my friends. You just don’t get it. This was never about love. It was about need. I needed someone to make me feel better and you were the only one around, so I took it.” She said cruelly.

 

He grabbed her shoulders and shoved her down to the ground.

 

“You think if you say that enough it will somehow become true?” He asked as he loomed over her.

 

She sat on the ground and glared up at him. She wanted to get up and fight back, but she just couldn’t muster the energy.

 

“It is true. And now it’s over. So take your stupid flowers and leave me alone. You’ve already messed up my life enough.”

 

“I didn’t mess up anything. I love you, Buffy.” He told her.

 

“You don’t love me. You’re just clinging to some kind of stupid dream. It’s not love. The things we do and the things we say to each other? That’s not love.” She protested.

 

He shot her a wounded glance.

 

“Well then, I guess you’ve never been in love before.” He said to her.

 

He threw the roses at her and turned around and stalked off. She watched him walk away and felt instantly guilty and remorseful for everything she had said to him. She had panicked. Things were getting way too intense between them. And now Xander knew. She figured it wouldn’t be long before everyone found out.

 

She was surprised that Xander hadn’t dusted Spike right there on the spot. She cringed when she thought of all the explaining she was going to have to do. She picked herself up and gathered the flowers that had scattered around her.

 

She was going to throw them in the trash, but something inside her heart wouldn’t allow her to do it. She bunched them up and went back inside the house. Dawn was in the living room.

 

“Where’d you go?” She asked curiously.

 

“Outside.” Buffy said softly.

 

“Was someone out there? What are those?” Dawn asked pointing at the rumpled roses.

 

“No one was out there. I just thought I heard something but it was nothing. I-I found these in the yard and just thought I’d better pick them up.” She explained indicating the roses.

 

“Looks like someone threw them out of a car window.” Dawn chuckled.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Some guy was probably trying to kiss up to his girlfriend and she wasn’t buying it so she tossed the flowers out of the car.” Dawn shrugged.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Why don’t you just throw them away?”

 

Buffy looked over at her and shrugged.

 

“Seemed like such a waste. I’m sure that the girl didn’t mean to ruin the flowers.” Buffy said quietly.

 

“Yeah, okay.” Dawn said giving Buffy a strange look.

 

“I’m gonna go upstairs for a bit.” Buffy said as she turned around and walked away.

 

Dawn watched her walk up the stairs holding the flowers tightly. She wondered what was really going on. Buffy seemed to be upset or sad about something. Dawn wished that she would talk to her again. She leaned back into the couch and flipped the TV on.

 

Buffy sat on her bed and let the tears fall from her eyes. She was so confused. She knew she was pushing away the only thing in her life that made her feel alive. When she was with him, she was able to forget her pain, at least for a little while. But she knew he was expecting more from her. He wanted her. All of her. Not just her body, but her mind and her soul and her heart.

 

She wasn’t ready to do that. She didn’t think she ever would be. She didn’t understand why he couldn’t just be content with what she was giving him. Most guys would love to have a girl that only wanted frivolous sex with no strings attached. But he wasn’t like that. And she knew deep down that she wasn’t like that either.

 

She wanted the whole package too. She was just terrified at the thought that he might be the one she wanted that with. She knew she could deny it until she was hoarse from screaming at him, but he was right. There was something much deeper between them. Something she didn’t understand and refused to try and comprehend.

 

The only thing she could do was to push him away so she wouldn’t have to deal with it. It was supposed to be easier that way, but it was hurting an awful lot. She looked at the roses and shook her head. No one had ever given her flowers before. It was incredibly sweet and romantic, and she had ruined the entire moment with her paranoia. But it was for the best. Maybe this time she’d be able to stay away from him for good. That was the right thing to do.

 

An hour later Buffy heard Dawn calling her from downstairs.

 

“Buffy!”

 

“What?” She called back.

 

“Xander’s here!”

 

Buffy groaned and pulled the pillow over her face. She didn’t want to face him right now. It was all just too much to take. Plus, she had been crying and she didn’t want to have to explain why. But she knew sooner or later, she’d have to face him. She stood up and straightened her clothes. Then she wiped her eyes and headed downstairs.

 

Xander was chatting with Dawn and looked up when Buffy entered. His friendly smiled faded to a look of concern when he saw her.

 

“Hey, Buffy.” He said calmly.

 

“Xander.”

 

Dawn looked at both of them and could sense the tension stifling the room.

 

“Um, Dawnster? Buffy and I need to talk about something.” Xander said with a smile.

 

“Fine. I can take a hint. I’ll be upstairs, where I always am.” She sighed.

 

She ran up the stairs and Xander looked at Buffy.

 

“So…How are you doing?” He asked.

 

“Look, I know why you’re here, so you don’t have to pretend to be nice. Just say what you need to say and get it over with.” She said folding her arms across her chest protectively.

 

“Look, Buff…I’m not pretending to be nice. I’m concerned for you. I mean, is it true? You and Spike?” He asked, barely able to form the words.

 

“Yes. It _was_ true. But it’s over. It was stupid and crazy and I know that. So you don’t need to tell me that I’m insane.”

 

“I’m not here to tell you that you’re insane.”

 

“You’re not?” She asked skeptically.

 

Xander shifted uncomfortably then looked at her.

 

“Okay, so I _was_ gonna say that. But it’s not like I’m mad at you or anything.”

 

“You’re not?”

 

“No. I’m just confused and a little worried. And a lot wigged out at the thought of you two together. But not mad.” He explained.

 

“Xander there’s a lot you don’t understand. And I can’t even start to explain it. It’s just too complicated.”

 

“Try me.”

 

Buffy contemplated whether or not she wanted to get into this. She didn’t really have an explanation.

 

“It’s over Xander. Can we just forget that it ever happened? I don’t really want to talk about it.”

 

He started to protest and then he backed off. Buffy seemed genuinely confused and upset. He didn’t want to be responsible for making it worse. The best he could do was to continue to be her friend. And if she wanted to talk, he’d be there.

 

“Fine. Okay. We don’t have to talk about it. But if you ever want to, I’m here.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Just tell me one thing. He didn’t hurt you or anything, did he? Because if he did, I’ll kick his ass.” Xander told her.

 

Buffy smiled slightly.

 

“No, he didn’t. And believe me, if he did, I’d kick his ass myself.”

 

“Yeah, I know. But it makes me feel more manly to offer.” He said with a grin.

 

“Thanks.” She smiled. Then she looked at him seriously. “You didn’t tell anyone else about this, did you?”

 

“No. I was too horrified to even comprehend it, much less utter the words out loud to someone else.”

 

“Good. Let’s just keep it that way, okay?”

 

“Agreed.”

 

“I’m kinda tired. I think I’m gonna go to bed.” She told him.

 

“Alright. You sure you don’t wanna talk some more?”

 

“I’m sure. I’ll see you later. I’m sure Anya is waiting up for you.” She smiled.

 

“Yeah. See you later.”

 

Xander walked out the door reluctantly. He felt like he wanted to say something more. This conversation hadn’t turned out like he planned at all. He had rehearsed the whole thing in his mind for an hour. But then she threw him when she already knew that he knew. Then she said it was over. He just didn’t know what to think. He only hoped that she was really okay.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy lay in her bed with her eyes open. She couldn’t sleep anymore. It was 4:30AM when she glanced at the clock. She tried to force herself back into sleep, but it just wouldn’t come. She threw her covers off and dragged herself out of bed.

 

She went to her dresser and pulled out some sweats and a t-shirt. If she couldn’t sleep, she may as well patrol. Maybe a little slaying would put her mind at ease and release some of the tension she was bottling up.

 

She crept out of the house quietly, being sure not to wake Dawn or Willow. She fully intended to be back before either one knew she had left. She made her way down the street and headed towards one of the cemeteries.

 

She twirled her stake in her hands and her eyes darted around for any signs of life. Or un-life as it may be. She heard some rustling of leaves behind her and she whirled around. She stood there poised for battle when she noticed who was approaching her.

 

“Spike? What are you doing? Are you stalking me?” She asked angrily.

 

“Please. I’m over that.” He scoffed.

 

“Then what are you doing? I thought I told you to stay away from me.”

 

“That’s right. You did. It’s funny how I never seem to listen to you.” He said with a chuckle as he stumbled over a rock on the ground.

 

“Are you drunk?” She asked with some mild disgust.

 

“Maybe. What’s it to you?” He asked with a slight slur.

 

“Oh great.” She muttered as she shook her head. “I so don’t need this right now. Spike just go home and sleep it off.”

 

“No. I don’t have to do anything. You think you can always tell me what to do? Forget it. I can be out here if I want to. It’s a public cemetery.”

 

“Fine then. I’ll leave. It’s not like Sunnydale doesn’t have a billion other graveyards I can choose from.” She said as she turned to walk away from him.

 

He reached out and grabbed her arm tightly and swung her around. She glared at him.

 

“Let go of me.”

 

“No. Not until you hear me out.”

 

“Spike give it a rest, will you? You’re drunk. You’re probably going to say something stupid, so just quit while you’re ahead.” She told him as she yanked her arm out of his grasp.

 

“Quit while I’m ahead?” He laughed bitterly. “You call this ahead? You’re destroying me, you know that? I love you so much and—.”

 

She held her hand up.

 

“Stop it. Just shut up. I don’t want to hear this.” She turned around and walked away from him again.

 

“Fine. Run away! Just like you always do. See if I care.” He said bitterly.

 

She turned and looked at him.

 

“Stop making this harder.”

 

“Why won’t you just admit that we have something? Stop running away from me.”

 

“Fine. Is this what you want to hear? We HAD something. It’s over. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s done with. You need to get over it.”

 

“Buffy…” He pleaded with her. He wished he could just shut up like she asked him to, but the alcohol was making him a little crazy. He wasn’t completely drunk, but just enough to ramble on pathetically.

 

Behind Spike’s shoulder she saw movement behind a tree. She tensed up when her senses told her it was a vampire.

 

“Stop talking.” She whispered loudly to Spike.

 

“No. I won’t.” He said loudly.

 

She grabbed his arm and twisted him around. She pointed over towards where she saw the vampire activity.

 

“There’s something over there. So shut up and get out of here. I have a job to do.” She hissed at him.

 

She stormed away from him and he sighed and followed behind her. They walked over and witnessed the vampire walking towards the street. Buffy recognized him as the vampire who had run away from them with the mysterious crystal. She turned to Spike.

 

“That’s the guy from the other night. The one who ran away.” She told him.

 

“Yeah. Looks like him alright.” He agreed.

 

She was about to tell him to come with her, when she realized that she was supposed to be staying away from him.

 

“I’m going after him. You need to go home.” She told him.

 

“I don’t wanna.”

 

“Look, it’s after five. The sun will be up soon. Or have you forgotten that you’re still a vampire?” She asked him.

 

“What if you need some backup?” He asked.

 

“Ugh, I won’t. I don’t need you or anyone else helping me do my job.” With that, she turned around and stormed away from him.

 

He watched her walk off and began walking back towards his crypt. Suddenly he stopped and turned around. He wasn’t going to let her just walk away from him again. He’d given her plenty of space and been more than patient with her. He wasn’t going to let her hide anymore.

 

He set off after her. It didn’t take him long to catch up to her, but he hung back. He saw the mystery vampire walk into an old, boarded up office building. He noticed Buffy head off after him. He ran over to her and grabbed her arm again. She reeled around and punched him across the face.

 

“Spike?” She asked exasperated. She hadn’t known it was him when she hit him. She had just reacted. But now that she knew, she wasn’t sorry. He was starting to bother her with his stalker guy routine.

 

“You can’t go into that building alone.” He told her.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because. You have no idea what’s in there. Or how many vamps are waiting just inside. That whole place could be filled with em’.” He said trying to reason with her.

 

“Would you stop making excuses to bug me. Go home. Look at the sky. It’s almost daybreak. You’re acting like an idiot.” She told him.

 

He glared at her and shook his head.

 

“Fine. Go in there. Get killed. I don’t care. In fact, I hope they _do_ eat you. It’d serve you right.” He said bitterly as he turned and walked off.

 

She watched him go and felt a pang of remorse. She was being really awful to him, but she couldn’t help it. She was trying to push him away. She wanted him to hate her again, so it would be easier to squelch the fuzzy feelings she was having for him. She pushed back her hurt feelings and guilt and headed inside the building.

 

Spike stuck his head around the corner and mentally kicked himself for sticking around. He wanted to leave. And he wanted to actually mean what he said about hoping she’d get eaten, but he didn’t. He couldn’t stifle his concern for this uncertain situation. He opened the door and went inside after her.

 

Buffy crept up the stairwell, and stopped short when she heard voices on the landing above her. She hung back and strained her ears to hear the conversation.

 

“Where were you? Overhoff is getting pissy. He wanted everyone here well before sunrise.”

 

“Sorry man. I was hungry.”

 

“Yeah, well don’t tell me you’re sorry. Tell him.”

 

Buffy then heard a door open and close loudly as the voices disappeared. She went up to the landing and noticed that the vampires had entered the tenth floor. She opened the door slowly and peeked her head out. She saw them rounding the corner in front of her and she followed them quickly.

 

The vampires opened a door and stepped inside. Buffy leaned her head against the door to listen for voices. She wanted to have some idea of how many vampires were inside there. She heard a loud, bellowing voice shouting curses at someone. Then she heard a whiny plea and then a scream. She assumed that the vampire she heard earlier was getting his punishment for being late. Oh well. One less vamp for her to worry about.

 

She pushed the door open as quietly as she could and peered in. There were about ten vampires circling around a much larger vamp, with long hair. She correctly assumed him to be Overhoff. She started to back away when one of the vampires noticed her presence.

 

He shouted and everyone turned to face her. She gulped and suddenly wished she had listened to Spike when he told her not to go in alone. Or at least she wished for more weapons, but it was too late for that. She stood up straight and put on her confident face.

 

“Hey guys. Nice place you have.” She told them.

 

“It’s the Slayer!” One of them shouted.

 

“Well, don’t just stand there. Kill her!” Overhoff shouted at his minions.

 

All at once, they charged her and she began throwing punches and kicks to ward them off. She managed to get a few of them dusted fairly quickly, mostly just out of dumb luck. The remaining vamps were holding their own.

 

One of them grabbed her from behind and she elbowed him swiftly and she used his backward momentum to kick two of them in the face. They went reeling back and exploded in a cloud of dust. As the dust cleared, Buffy saw Spike standing there with two stakes raised in the air, and smirk on his face.

 

“Looks like you needed a little help after all.” He told her.

 

She jammed her stake backwards and finished off the vampire who had grabbed her. Then she shook her head at Spike.

 

“I was doing just fine.” She told him as she landed a punch to the stomach of another vampire.

 

Spike was busy fighting another. He picked him up and tossed him across the room. The vampire smashed into the wall hitting a protruding beam. He exploded into dust and Spike looked at her.

 

“Right, you were just fine. You want me to leave then?” He asked, as he staked another vamp, without even looking.

 

She was on the ground now, struggling with one on top of her. She shouted at Spike.

 

“Get him off me!”

 

“Fine then. I’ll stay.” He smirked, as he grabbed the vamp and plunged his stake between his shoulder blades.

 

Buffy leapt up and stood next to Spike as they surveyed the situation. There were only two vampires left. Overhoff and another minion who was at his side protecting the crystal.

 

Buffy and Spike headed over to them. They could hear Overhoff chanting something and Buffy remembered what they had said about getting rid of the Slayer. They were doing some kind of spell.

 

The minion looked up and noticed them coming over.

 

“Boss, they’re coming!”

 

“The spell is nearly complete. The sun has now been up for two minutes and everything is in order. You must hold them off!” He shouted.

 

The minion knew he was no match for the Slayer and the traitor vampire, but he forged ahead anyway. He leapt at Buffy and Spike grabbed him midair. He tossed him aside. Buffy rushed over to Overhoff and smashed her fist into his face.

 

He reeled back, but wasn’t fazed. He lunged at her and kicked her in the gut. She doubled over and he kicked her again. She grabbed his legs and yanked him hard, sending him flying onto his back. She reached for the crystal that sat on the table and he grabbed her arm.

 

“You will not get your hands on that!” He shouted as he wrenched her arm back and she cried out in pain.

 

Spike was busy fighting the other vampire when he heard Buffy scream. He quickly got the upper hand and plunged his stake into the vamp. He rushed over towards Buffy when Overhoff picked her up over his head. He tossed her across the room and she smashed into the blacked out window. It shattered and she tumbled out.

 

Spike’s eyes grew wide and he dove at Overhoff with all his strength. He dusted him before Overhoff even knew what hit him. He looked over towards the broken window. Sunlight was now streaming into the room and he saw Buffy’s bloodied hands gripping the window ledge.

 

“Buffy!” He shouted as he ran towards the window, being careful to stay in the shadows.

 

Buffy held onto the ledge and tried not to look down. Memories of her earlier death came crashing back to her. It seemed that she was doomed to die from falling from extreme heights. Her hands were cut and bleeding from the broken glass, but she managed to hang on. Her arm had been twisted severely and was weak. She wasn’t sure if she could pull herself back up.

 

“Can you get back up?” Spike asked her frantically, as he watched her struggle.

 

“I don’t know.” She yelled back.

 

Spike was helpless. He couldn’t reach out and pull her in without putting himself in direct light. But he couldn’t just stand by and watch her fall. Not again. Never again. The memory of that was almost too much to bear. Just then, he found his own words echoing in his head.

 

_Even if I didn’t make it, you wouldn’t have had to jump…I did save you. Not when it counted, of course…Every night I save you…_

 

He knew what he had to do. It was suicide, plain and simple, but he couldn’t not do it. This was his chance to save her. And this time, it _would_ count.

 

“Hold on. I’m bringing you in.” He told her as looked around for something to drape over himself.

 

He saw a tablecloth where the crystal was set up. He yanked it off and the crystal went crashing to the ground. He wrapped the cloth around his body and his head and stepped into the sun.

 

“Give me your hand!” He shouted as he reached out for her.

 

Smoke started seeping from his exposed skin.

 

“Spike, no! Get away from the window!” She shouted as she saw his smoldering flesh.

 

“Take my hand!” He gritted his teeth to bear the pain.

 

She reluctantly reached up and grabbed his hand tightly. She felt his skin sizzling and she tried to cover it with her own.

 

“Spike hurry! You’re going to fry. You’re crazy! Just let me go.” She pleaded with him.

 

He pulled her hand as hard as he could. His grip was loosening as the pain of the sun was overtaking him.

 

“I’m not letting you fall. Not this time.” He told her as he pulled back with all his might.

 

She was yanked through the window and they both went crashing to the floor amidst the sunlight. As Spike fell, the tablecloth fell away from him. He smiled up at Buffy, relieved that she was alright and that he had indeed saved her this time.

 

Before Buffy could even move, Spike exploded into flames and disintegrated in front of her. She screamed out.

 

“NO!!”

 

But it was too late. He was gone. There was nothing left except for a pile of smoldering ash where he once was. She sat there breathing heavily as tears ran down her cheeks.

 

“Oh my God…No.” She muttered to herself.

 

She just couldn’t believe that it was over. Spike was gone. Poof! Just like that. No dying words, no final goodbyes. Nothing. Just ash where her lover once was. It was almost too much to comprehend. She was so numb she couldn’t move.

 

She had wanted him dead so many times and now that he was, she didn’t know what to think. She now knew a little of what he had felt after she had died. The guilt was almost too much. She had wished for this moment a million times. She’d even attempted to do it herself a few of those times. Now it was done. And instead of shrugging it off, she suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe.

 

The full magnitude of what he had meant to her washed over her like a tidal wave. She needed him. She loved him. It was true. She realized it now. He wasn’t just some convenient sex toy. She loved him. She was in love with him, and now it was too late. And the worst part was, he had died never knowing that. He had died thinking that she never wanted to see him again. And he had died while saving her life.

 

She had been so stubborn and so scared and so blind before. She refused to believe that he really loved her until now. He had sacrificed himself to save her. It didn’t get any clearer than that. He had loved her so deeply, he was willing to die for her. And now she’d never get to tell him what he meant to her.

 

She wiped away her tears and stood up. She looked around at the empty room and bit back a sob. She began to walk out slowly when she tripped over something. She looked down and saw the crystal lying on the floor. She bent down and picked it up.

 

“Stupid rock! This is all your fault, you know that?” She said desperately. “If it hadn’t of been for you, Spike and I never would have come here. And I don’t even know what you do.”

 

She knew she looked like a moron talking to a rock like it was a real person. But she was so consumed with grief and confusion that she just didn’t care.

 

She clutched the crystal tightly and shook her head.

 

“I wish that I could wake up tomorrow, snug in my bed and none of this would have happened. I just wish I could have a second chance.” She sighed sadly.

 

She threw the crystal to the ground and walked away. Behind her, the crystal glowed a bright red color and began to hum. In a flash, the light dissipated and the crystal returned to normal. Buffy never even noticed as she slammed the door and walked out of the building.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy made her way home in a fog. She didn’t even really remember how she had gotten to her street. She walked up the steps and opened the door slowly. She stepped inside and ran right into Dawn.

 

“Buffy! There you are. Willow and I were getting worried.” Dawn said with concern.

 

“Sorry.” Buffy said quietly.

 

“Is everything okay?” Dawn asked, noticing Buffy’s cut hands and the sadness that hung around her.

 

Buffy looked up at her and didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure how Dawn would react to the news of Spike’s death. She knew they were close and Buffy didn’t want to upset Dawn. Not right before school.

 

“Things are fine. I just got into a little tangle. It took longer than I thought. I’m okay.” She said attempting a smile.

 

“Okay.” Dawn nodded her head reluctantly. “I’m off to school, so I’ll see you later?”

 

“Yeah. I should be here.”

 

Dawn smiled and headed out the door. Buffy started up the stairs when Willow came out of the kitchen.

 

“Buffy! You’re back. I didn’t even know you had left last night.” Willow said to her.

 

“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep, so I went patrolling.”

 

“Oh. Are your hands okay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Willow noticed that Buffy’s eyes were red and it looked like she had been crying. She walked over and touched her on the shoulder.

 

“Buffy? Did something happen? You look…I don’t know. Weepy?”

 

Buffy thought about lying to her then figured it wasn’t worth it. She might as well just tell her.

 

“Spike’s gone.” She told her.

 

“What? Where’d he go?” Willow asked.

 

“No, I mean he’s gone. Dead. Or deader than usual. He got dusted.”

 

Willow looked at her for a minute and tried to comprehend what she had told her. She also tried to read the intense sadness on Buffy’s face.

 

“Wow. Really? I-I mean, he’s really dust?” Willow asked. It was almost unreal. They’d all wanted him dead before at some point, but now that he was, it was just strange. And also a little sad.

 

“Yeah, he’s really dust.” Buffy said sadly.

 

“Did you…I-I mean, did he do something to you?” Willow asked nervously.

 

“No. I didn’t do it. It just happened.” Buffy told her as she wiped away a tear.

 

“You seem pretty sad.” Willow said observing Buffy’s red eyes again.

 

“You have no idea.” Buffy said softly as she turned and walked up the stairs.

 

She didn’t feel like getting into things with Willow right now. If Will was confused, she could talk to Xander. Buffy was sure that he’d be throwing a party when he found out. Problem solved. No more Spike, thus no more Buffy and Spike. Xander should be thrilled.

 

Willow watched her disappear up the stairs and wondered what she was missing. She knew that Buffy and her had been distant with each other for a long time, but surely Buffy would have told her if there was something going on with her and Spike. She knew that they patrolled together a lot, but Willow didn’t think anything of it. Suddenly she realized how stupid she had been.

 

It was obvious now. All that patrolling, and Buffy never coming home at night. The hickeys on her neck that Xander had told her about. It was like a veil had been lifted. Buffy and Spike had been together, and now he was gone. Willow felt her heart ache for her friend.

 

“Poor Buffy.” Willow said sadly.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Willow had gone to class and Buffy had to fight the urge to crawl up in a little ball and cry all day. She needed to get out of the house. She needed to do something to get her mind off what had happened. She felt so lonely because for once, she didn’t have Spike to turn to when something was bothering her. All at once, the tears came again when realized how much she had relied on him.

 

She pulled herself together and headed to the Magic Box. She figured she’d do a little training to work away some of her grief. She opened the door and saw Xander and Anya talking behind the counter. They looked up when she walked in.

 

“Hey Buff.” Xander said with a forced smile.

 

He was still in shock over finding out about Buffy and Spike’s secret little affair.

 

“I’m going to train.” Buffy said flatly, not wanting to watch Xander jump for joy at the news of Spike’s demise.

 

She walked past them and into the back room. Xander looked at Anya.

 

“What’s wrong with her? You think she’s pissed at me? You think she knows I told you about her and Spike?” He asked, feeling bad for spilling the secret.

 

He just had to tell someone. But he had only told Anya, and they were engaged. He couldn’t keep secrets from her. Plus he really needed someone to complain to.

 

“I don’t know how she’d know that. Besides, she just broke up with Spike. It’s bound to make her a little cranky.” Anya offered.

 

“I guess. But she seemed okay last night. She said it was a mistake to be with him. I agreed and everything was fine. I think so, anyway.” Xander shook his head.

 

“Go talk to her.”

 

“Yeah. I will.”

 

He walked into the back room and watched Buffy beating the punching bag. He didn’t see the tears running down her face as she tried to lose herself in the fight. Xander decided to announce his presence by clearing his throat loudly. Buffy stopped and turned around.

 

“Xander not now.” She said giving him a desperate look.

 

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” He asked sincerely.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it. Now please just leave me alone.”

 

“Look, if this about what happened last night—.”

 

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“I’m just trying to help. I’m sorry if I freaked out a little. It’s just the thought of you and Spike…”

 

“There is no me and Spike.”

 

“I know. I mean, you said it was over—.”

 

“It is.”

 

“It’s just…”

 

“Xander, Spike is gone. So you don’t have to worry about me running off with him. He’s gone.” She said with quickly.

 

“Gone? What happened? Did you make him leave town? Cause I have to say, it’s about time.” Xander told her.

 

“He’s dead. I-I mean…Well, you know…really dead.” She said stumbling over her words.

 

Xander looked at her with shock. He didn’t believe it.

 

“What? What happened? Did he hurt you? Did you stake him?” He asked.

 

“No, I didn’t stake him. It’s a long story. But he’s gone, so you can let out your sigh of relief or do your happy dance because he won’t be bothering any of us anymore.”

 

Xander didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t actually as happy about this as he thought he would be. And it wasn’t just because Buffy was upset. Some deep, dark corner of his mind would actually kind of miss the guy. At least a little. He’d become sort of a fixture in all their lives. An annoying fixture, but a fixture all the same.

 

“Buffy, I’m sorry.” He told her softly.

 

“Don’t. Please don’t pretend that you care that he’s gone. I know you hated him and I know you hated him with me.” She said wiping her eyes hastily.

 

“That’s true. I won’t deny it. And I’m a little surprised that he’s gone. It feels weird. But, he _was_ still a vampire. Maybe I’ll miss his annoying comments and some of his really bad jokes, but he was a vampire. You kill them all the time, Buffy. Sooner or later, he was bound to get his.”

 

“That’s a pretty heartless way of thinking about it. It doesn’t matter that he’s dead because he was a vampire? I should be happy, right? Guess it doesn’t matter that I loved him either.” She said angrily.

 

Xander stood there speechless. He had no idea that Buffy loved him. He knew they were sleeping together, but he took Buffy’s word for it that it meant nothing. And now she said she loved him? Things were just getting even more complicated by the second.

 

“You loved him?”

 

“Yes. I did. Look, can we just stop talking about this?” She asked uncomfortably.

 

“I guess.” He said quietly.

 

“Good. Now let me finish my training okay?” She said as she turned around and began hitting the bag again.

 

Xander started to say something else, but stopped himself. It was clear there was nothing he could say that would make this easier for her. And the fact that she admitted to loving him, was still a shock. He turned around and walked back out to the front of the shop.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

That evening Buffy headed out for her usual patrol. Only it didn’t feel the same when she knew she wasn’t going to run into Spike. Or meet him at his crypt for a little fun. Nothing felt the same anymore. She never even realized how much time she spent with him, or how many things she wanted to share with him, until he was gone.

 

She had decided to wait a little longer to tell Dawn about what happened. Buffy knew that she would be devastated. Buffy wasn’t sure she could hold herself together with someone else who would be grieving as much as she was. It was easier to tell her friends, because she knew they weren’t exactly emotionally attached to Spike. Dawn had been. And Buffy just couldn’t deliver the news yet.

 

She found herself walking through Spike’s cemetery. She smiled when she remembered the times they had spent here. Sometimes fighting each other, and sometimes fighting together. And even one time, they hadn’t been able to make it inside his crypt when they just had to have each other.

 

They had taken each other against a tree just outside. It was insane and a little embarrassing, but at the time it was exciting. She’d never been with anyone like that before. There were times when they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. At the time, she had just chalked it up to raging hormones, but it was so much more than that. She realized that now.

 

She walked over to his crypt and headed inside. She wasn’t really sure why she was torturing herself like this but she felt the need to see his things again. To smell his scent, and feel the memories that lived inside this dingy mausoleum. Some of them were decidedly bad, but the others were special and meant something to her.

 

She walked down the ladder and into his bedroom. His bed was messed up and there was an empty bottle of whiskey lying beside it. She picked it up and put it on a table. She knew she had driven him crazy last night. He had been drinking because she had hurt him. Again. She wondered if he had actually been so drunk at the time and that was why he let himself die to save her.

 

Then she shook her head. He knew what he was doing. He knew and he didn’t care. She laid down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. They smelled like him. And they smelled like her. This was their bed. As much as she tried to deny it, this was their place. The one place where they could be together and no one would judge them. Inside this room and in this bed, she had been free for the first time. She could be herself.

 

But that was over now. It was all over now. She had given herself to him over and over again, but it was never enough. She now understood that it could never have been enough because the one thing he wanted, she had kept locked away. Even the sanctity of this room hadn’t been enough for her to open her heart. And that was all he wanted. Not just her body, but her heart. He had captured it, and yet he never even knew. And now he never would.

 

She lay there for a long time just staring at her surroundings, drinking it all in. She finally stood up and made her way out of the room. She paused once more before heading back up the ladder to take another look around. She knew that it was over now and that he was gone, but in this room there would always be proof that he existed. That they existed together for a short time. She knew she’d never forget him.

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy woke up the next morning feeling groggy. Her eyes hurt from crying herself quietly to sleep. Willow had tried to talk to her when she got home, but Buffy just wanted to be alone. She knew she should talk to someone, and Willow was being very sympathetic, but Buffy always felt like she needed to be strong in front of everyone. She felt better keeping her tears to herself. In fact the only person she had ever cried freely in front of had been Spike. Now she just had to go it alone.

 

She pulled herself out of bed and looked at the clock. It was already 9:00am. Dawn would have already left for school by now, so Buffy was relieved that she didn’t have to think about telling her the bad news until later.

 

She walked downstairs and noticed that Willow was gone too. Buffy wandered into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of juice. She knew she should eat, but she just wasn’t hungry yet. She looked down at her hands and noticed that the cuts she had gotten from the broken window glass, were completely gone. That was fast, even for her.

 

“Hmm…Gotta love that super-healing thing.” She muttered to herself.

 

She headed upstairs and decided to get dressed. She pulled some clothes out of her dresser and stood in front of the mirror. She noticed the hickey marks on her neck and chest. Somehow, they seemed even more noticeable than they had before. They had started to fade, but now they were just as bright as the first day. She tossed her t-shirt aside and picked a turtleneck. She had decided to go to the shop to get a little more training in. It seemed to be the only thing that made her feel better.

 

She walked into the shop and found it empty but the door was unlocked. She thought it was a little strange, but she shrugged it off. She figured Anya was in the basement or something. She walked into the training room and was startled to find everyone in there.

 

Anya had a table set up with wedding cake samples and fabric swatches for bridesmaids dresses. A huge wave of déjà vu swept over Buffy. Everyone turned to look at her.

 

“Nice of you to show up. An hour late, I might add.” Anya said huffily.

 

“Yeah, Buff. Where were you?” Xander asked.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I told you we were all supposed to be here at nine. Did you forget?” Xander asked, knowing that Anya was highly irritated that Buffy hadn’t shown up.

 

“I-I didn’t realize we were doing this again.” Buffy said confused.

 

“Again? This is the first time.” Anya said equally as confused.

 

“What?” Buffy had no idea what was going on.

 

“It’s no big deal, guys. She’s here now. Just in time to pick a color for your dress.” Willow said with a smile as she tried to smooth things over.

 

“I-I thought we decided on the purple one?” Buffy said with a strange look.

 

“We did?” Willow asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Okay. Purple is good. We pick purple.” Willow smiled.

 

“Great. Then it’s settled. Honey, will you help me clean this stuff up? The store opens in ten minutes.” Anya said to Xander.

 

He got up and began putting things away while Willow walked over to Buffy.

 

“You okay? You seem a little wacky this morning.” She asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess I am a little out of it.” Buffy said shaking her head.

 

“If it’s any consolation, you didn’t miss much. I kinda wished I’d forgotten about it too. But the cake was good. Just maybe not for breakfast. I feel a little icky now.” Willow made a face.

 

“Yeah, me too.” Buffy said absently.

 

“But you didn’t eat cake.”

 

“I know. I just meant about…well, the other thing.” Buffy said quietly.

 

Willow looked at her confused.

 

“What other thing?”

 

“You know, Spike?”

 

“Spike? What about him? Did he do something to piss you off?” She asked.

 

“Yeah, he died.” Buffy said giving Willow a confused look.

 

“What? Spike died? Y-you mean like, he went all ‘poof’?” Willow asked with shock.

 

“Yes. Remember? I told you yesterday.”

 

“You did? B-but how? I mean, what happened?” She asked.

 

Buffy looked at her curiously. This day was starting to freak her out. It was as if no one had even listened to her the past two days.

 

Just then Xander walked over with a smile.

 

“What’s up guys?” He asked.

 

“Spike got dusted.” Willow told him quickly.

 

Buffy shut her eyes and shook her head.

 

“What? Spike got dusted? When did this happen?” He asked completely thrown.

 

Buffy looked at both of them puzzled beyond belief.

 

“What is wrong with you two? Why are you acting like you didn’t know?” She asked.

 

“We didn’t know.” Willow said shaking her head.

 

“Yeah. I mean, I can’t say I’m falling on my knees crying or anything, but still, that’s not the kind of news I’d forget you mentioning.” Xander told her seriously.

 

“Right. You were so disgusted when you found out about me and Spike you probably blocked all memories of it out of your head.” She told him with an annoyed look.

 

His mouth fell open and he stared at her.

 

“What? I found out about you and Spike? What exactly did I find out? Oh god, please don’t let it be what it sounds like.” He said desperately.

 

She looked at him incredulously. Either he was really trying to piss her off, or he _had_ completely blocked all memories out of his head.

 

“Me and Spike? We’re getting it on? Remember?” She offered watching his face for any signs of recognition.

 

“Oh God. What? You and Spike are getting it on?” Xander blurted out with a panicked expression.

 

Willow’s eyes grew wide and she looked at Buffy expectantly.

 

“What?” Willow asked.

 

Buffy took note of their utter confusion and shook her head.

 

“You guys have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” She asked both of them.

 

“Um, no. When did all this happen?” Willow asked curiously.

 

Buffy suddenly realized that something very strange was going on. It was like the last two days had never happened. Then it hit her. At the abandoned building, she had wished for a second chance. She had wished that none of this would have happened. She had been holding that stupid crystal at the time. Suddenly it all became a little clearer.

 

“What day is it?” She asked Willow quickly.

 

“Um, it’s Tuesday.” Willow said giving Buffy a puzzled look.

 

“Tuesday? It’s not Thursday?”

 

“No. It’s Tuesday. Just like I said.”

 

“Oh my God…” Buffy muttered in disbelief.

 

“Buffy are you alright?” Willow asked.

 

“Yeah. I-I think I am.” She began to smile.

 

“Good. So you never answered my question. You and Spike are doing it?” Xander asked with a cringe.

 

Buffy looked at him and began to laugh loudly.

 

“Oh please! Me and Spike? Are you crazy?” She laughed.

 

“Huh? But you just said—.” He started.

 

“I-I was kidding. Geez, you people can’t tell when I’m kidding? I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.” She said shaking her head.

 

“So then, is Spike all dusty or not?” Willow asked.

 

Buffy thought for a moment then she smiled.

 

“No. I was just messing with you guys. What can I say? I’m in a weird mood.” She laughed.

 

They both stared at her incredulously.

 

“Well, it wasn’t really all that funny.” Willow told her.

 

“Look, I gotta go. Talk to you guys later.” She said as she rushed off towards the door. Then she turned around again. “Um, Willow? If you feel like eating a tuna fish sandwich for lunch today, don’t. It’ll give you a stomach ache.” Buffy added with a smile.

 

Willow and Xander watched her leave in total confusion. They had no idea what was wrong with her. Xander turned to Willow.

 

“Okay, what the hell was all that?” Xander asked shaking his head.

 

“I-I have no idea. You think she’s okay?”

 

“No. Not really. She was acting like a crazy person. I feel like I fell asleep in class for like an entire year and then someone threw a final exam in my face. I have no idea what just happened.” Xander told her.

 

“Me neither.” Willow agreed.

 

“You think she was drunk or something?”

 

“At this hour? I don’t think so.”

 

“Yeah. Guess you’re right.”

 

They both stood in silence trying to figure things out.

 

“You don’t think she and Spike are really—.” Willow started.

 

“No! Never. You heard her. It was a joke. A very bad and scary joke.” Xander shook his head vigorously.

 

Willow nodded her head in agreement. The weirdest part about it was that she had been craving a tuna fish sandwich for lunch. She supposed she’d eat something else, just in case.

 

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy nearly ran the entire way to Spike’s crypt. She really had no clue what was going on. Apparently that mysterious crystal somehow granted wishes. Now she understood what they meant about just saying a simple phrase and then there would be no more Slayer. Only, they hadn’t gotten the chance to make their sinister wish. She had been the one with the wish, and now it had come true. Her heart was beating out of her chest by the time she reached the crypt door.

 

She flung it open and rushed inside. She didn’t see Spike anywhere, so she called out to him.

 

“Spike! Spike! Are you here?” She shouted.

 

She ran over to where the ladder was and practically jumped down. Once inside his bedroom area she looked around. The bed looked rumpled just as it had last night when she had come here alone to mourn him. She called out again.

 

“Spike?”

 

Nothing but silence. She felt a tear fall from her eye and she felt her stomach drop. It didn’t work. The wish didn’t work. She sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Was she stuck in some sort of dream? Nightmare? She didn’t even know what was real anymore.

 

Willow and Xander had told her it was Tuesday. They had acted like they didn’t know anything about Spike dying or her involvement with him. Time seemed to have turned back, but Spike was still gone. It didn’t make sense. She laid down on his bed again and held his pillow to her chest.

 

“Well, well. Isn’t this a nice surprise.” Spike smirked as he walked out from one of the sewer tunnels that lead into his lair.

 

Buffy jumped up from the bed and stared at him with her eyes wide.

 

“Spike?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh my god…You have no idea how much I missed you.” She smiled at him.

 

“You missed me?” He asked startled.

 

“Yes.” She whispered as she walked over and embraced him tightly.

 

He was taken aback at her display of emotion, but he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

 

“Buffy, what’s up with you? First, I wake up and you’re gone. And now you’re acting like you haven’t seen me in days. Though I admit seeing you all curled up in my bed was nice surprise.” He added with a smile.

 

“It’s just…You’re alive. I’m can’t believe you’re alive.” She said softly into his chest.

 

“Well, I guess I’m sort of alive, but technically—.”

 

“No, I mean, you’re not dusty.” She said with a smile.

 

“Why would I be dusty?” He asked perplexed.

 

“I just…Never mind. You’re here and that’s all that matters.” She said burying her face in his chest again.

 

He had no idea what had brought about this change. They had spent last night together, but when he woke up she was gone. He figured that she had run off again. It wasn’t the first time. But she was acting like she had actually missed him. That was strange. Welcome, but strange.

 

“Love, what’s gotten into you? Why are you being nice to me?” He asked suspiciously.

 

“What do you mean, ‘Why am I being nice to you’? I can’t be happy to see you?” She asked with a hurt look.

 

“Well, actually, no. I mean, you never are. It’s all a little…Well, it’s wonderful. But what’s wrong with you?” He asked pulling her out of their embrace and looking her in the eye.

 

She wanted to tell him everything that had happened, but she knew she’d sound like an idiot. Plus, she didn’t know what to say. Suddenly she had this second chance to tell him all the things that she didn’t have the opportunity to tell him before. And now she was scared. This was real. If she told him that she loved him, she could never take it back. It would be out there, and suddenly she just couldn’t do it.

 

“Nothing’s wrong with me. I-I just…” She didn’t know what to say.

 

She looked into his eyes and remembered the smile he had given her before he had burst into flames in front of her. It was a look so full of love, and she could see it now. She leaned up and kissed him tenderly.

 

The softness of her lips was startling. Usually when she kissed him, it was forceful and desperate. Almost bruising at times. But this was gentle. He pulled her closer to him and caressed her back gently. She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes and smiled. She grabbed his hand and walked them over to the bed. She sat down and pulled him towards her.

 

She scooted back and laid herself down, bringing him with her. He kissed her softly, letting his tongue circle hers slowly. His hands moved over her clothed breasts and he caressed them gently. She kissed his ear and whispered to him.

 

“I want to do something that we’ve never done before.” She told him.

 

He pulled back and looked at her with surprise and vast expectation.

 

“Something new? Sounds exciting. What would that be?” He purred seductively, nibbling on her ear.

 

“I want you to make love to me.” She said seriously.

 

He pulled back and looked at her curiously.

 

“What?”

 

“Make love to me.” She whispered as she covered his mouth with hers again.

 

For a second he didn’t know what she was talking about. Then he realized that in her mind, their couplings had never been about love. This time she wanted it to mean more. He kissed his way down the side of her neck.

 

“Buffy, I’ve never done anything else.” He murmured into her hair.

 

She felt her heart beat just a little bit faster at his words, and she tugged his shirt over his head. She saw the marks she had left on his body and ran her fingertips over the bruises gently. He smiled down at her, when he noticed what she was looking at. She had laid claim to him last night, and he had done the same to her. The marks were proof of that.

 

“I’m yours.” He told her, as he lifted her shirt over her head.

 

He placed gentle kisses over her love bruises as well.

 

“And you are mine.” He whispered as kissed her lips again.

 

Every part of her body was on fire at his touch, but this time it felt different. She wasn’t blocking her emotions out anymore. She was allowing herself to experience everything he had to offer. The way he made her body react, and the way he made her heart feel. She might not have been ready to utter the words to him yet, but she fully intended to show him that she did love him.

 

They removed the remainder of each others clothes and he lay himself down next to her. He ran his fingers over her soft skin, relishing the way she felt and the beauty of her body. He leaned over and kissed her breasts, as he gently ran his tongue over her nipples. She closed her eyes and moaned softly.

 

“You are beautiful.” He whispered to her.

 

He ran his hand between her legs to feel her desire for him. He rubbed her softly as he kissed his way down her stomach. She felt his tongue make contact with her throbbing flesh and she drew in a sharp breath.

 

“I need you.” She whispered softly as she arched her back to bring his mouth closer to her body.

 

He had never heard her say anything like that to him before. She had always insisted that she never needed him. It was like music to his ears. He brought himself up to her lips again and kissed her hungrily.

 

She wrapped her legs around him tightly and she felt him slip inside of her. They both let out a soft gasp at the delight of the sensation. It was something that never failed to awe either one of them.

 

He moved himself slowly within her, taking time to relish every second. His slow pace was like torture to her. Sweet, exquisite, torture. She arched her back and clamped her legs around his waist tightly, as she attempted to bring him deeper into her. The friction of his skin colliding with hers was making her dizzy. She felt his pace quicken, and she tightened her grip on him.

 

She drew in a sharp breath and felt her body begin to quake. He threw his head back and moaned as he let his passion for her overtake him. He collapsed onto her, and felt her body trembling slightly underneath him. He attempted to roll away from her, but she clutched him tightly.

 

“Don’t move. I want to stay like this forever.” She whispered softly.

 

He looked into her eyes and for an instant, he thought he saw love there. Something had changed in her, and he didn’t know what. Somehow the walls that she had built around herself were crumbling. She was reaching out for him. It was something he never thought would happen.

 

“I love you.” He told her sincerely.

 

She looked at him and smiled softly. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too. She knew this would be a perfect time to just say it, but there was still a lot of fear inside her. She tried to push it back and she took a deep breath.

 

“Spike…I—.” She started, then they heard the sound of the door crashing closed above them.

 

“Spike? You in here?” Xander called out from above.

 

“Oh my God! It’s Xander!” Buffy’s eyes grew wide and suddenly their tender moment was ruined.

 

She pushed Spike off of her and scrambled to find her clothes.

 

“Relax, pet.” He tried to calm her.

 

“Relax? Xander can’t find me here like this. He’ll have a stroke.” She told him as she pulled her shirt over her head.

 

“I’m comin’ down the ladder, so I hope you’re decent. Well, as decent as you can be anyway.” Xander called out.

 

“Oh shit!” Buffy said frantically as she heard Xander’s footsteps on the ladder.

 

Spike grabbed the sheet and covered himself with it.

 

“Don’t come down here! I’m…I’m busy! And naked!” Spike called out then looked at Buffy for approval. He didn’t really care if Xander caught them or not, but obviously Buffy was not eager to announce their news.

 

She nodded and tried to gather up the rest of her clothes quickly.

 

“Well, cover yourself up. I need to talk to you.” Xander said. They heard him jump off the ladder and his footsteps grew closer.

 

“Oh no! He’s coming.” Buffy said desperately as she ducked behind the bed, just as Xander walked into the room.

 

Xander stood at the entrance to the room and noticed Spike looking down at the floor.

 

“Spike? What are you looking at?” He asked.

 

Spike’s head jerked up and he clutched the sheet to his naked body.

 

“Nothin’. What do you want?” He asked anxiously.

 

Xander started to walk over towards Spike and tripped over something on the floor.

 

“Very smooth.” Spike mocked his clumsiness.

 

“It’s not my fault. This place is mess.” Xander bent down to see what had gotten twisted around his shoe. He pulled it off and held it up. “I tripped over these…panties?” Xander said realizing what he was holding.

 

He dropped them quickly and wiped his hand on his shirt frantically.

 

“Oh sick! What the hell are those?” Xander asked.

 

“What do they look like?” Spike asked with amusement.

 

“They look like women’s panties. Whose are they?”

 

Spike glanced down at Buffy and she shook her head desperately, mouthing the words “please don’t!” He sighed and looked back at Xander.

 

“Well, they’re…mine.” He said calmly.

 

Xander looked at him with disgust.

 

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared of you as I am now.” He said sarcastically.

 

“Look, is there a reason behind this unwelcome visit of yours? I was kind of busy.” Spike told him.

 

“Yeah, you and your panties must have been in for a fun time.” Xander said dryly.

 

“Just get out of here.”

 

“Look, I’m here because of Buffy.” Xander said as he walked closer to the bed.

 

Spike noticed that he was coming around to the side of the bed where Buffy was hiding. He jumped up and stood in front of Xander, completely naked.

 

“Where are you going?” Spike asked him anxiously.

 

Xander covered his eyes and stopped walking.

 

“Man, cover yourself. I don’t need to see that.” He stepped back and moved farther away from the bed.

 

Spike grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around his waist. Buffy’s bra fell out and on to the floor at Xander’s feet. Spike cringed and looked at Xander who was trying to hold in his laughter.

 

“Is that yours too?” Xander chuckled, pointing at the bra.

 

Spike grabbed the bra and tossed it over the side, where it landed on Buffy’s head. She grabbed it and stuffed it under the bed. She silently wondered if Xander was buying any part of Spike’s ridiculous story at all.

 

“Look, before I uncover anymore disturbing things about you, let me just cut to the chase.” Xander told him.

 

“Please do. What is it about Buffy that you want to know?”

 

“Well, she was acting really strange this morning. She was…Well, I don’t know, not herself. She said she was just joking, but she…Well, she said something really crazy.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“She said that you guys were getting it on.” Xander blurted out uncomfortably.

 

Spike laughed out loud and glanced over his shoulder at Buffy. Her eyes were closed and she was visibly cringing. Spike faced Xander again.

 

“She said that, did she?” Spike asked with amusement.

 

“Yeah. But like I said, she told me it was a joke.”

 

“So? What? You didn’t believe her?”

 

“I did. I totally believed her.” He said quickly. “It was a joke, right?”

 

Spike looked at Buffy who was nodding her head vigorously, urging him to go along with the lie. Spike gave her an annoyed look and he looked at Xander.

 

“Obviously, it _was_ a joke.” He said irritated at her unwillingness to tell her friends they were involved.

 

Xander breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Good. I just wanted to make sure. I-I figured if it were true, you wouldn’t be able to get away with not rubbing it in my face.”

 

“Yeah, if it were true, I’d want to tell everyone about it.” Spike said pointedly looking over at Buffy.

 

She lowered her gaze away from him.

 

“So, now you know the truth. You can leave now.” Spike told him.

 

“Yeah, guess I can. Have fun, doing… whatever it is your doing in here. Of which, I don’t want to know.” Xander said, as he stepped over the panties on the ground again, and headed up the ladder.

 

Once they heard the door upstairs close, Buffy stood up from her hiding place. Spike turned to face her.

 

“Thanks for not blowing my cover.” She said softly.

 

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want to do that.” He muttered bitterly as he tossed the sheet to the ground and picked his pants up to put them on.

 

“Look, it’s not like I’m never going to tell them.” She tried to explain.

 

“Well then, why don’t you? Are you ashamed of what we have together?” He asked as he went to his night table and lit a cigarette.

 

She remembered the last time he had asked her that, and she had coldly told him that she _was_ ashamed. He had been so hurt and angry with her. Only now, he didn’t remember that, because it hadn’t happened yet.

 

“I’m not ashamed. It’s just that they won’t understand. You know that.” She told him.

 

“Who cares if they understand? It’s not really up to them, is it?” He asked as he took a drag on his cigarette.

 

“No. It’s not. Can we just forget this? We were having a good time before he got here.” She said as she went over to him and ran her hands over his chest.

 

He was almost sucked in by her touch, but then he backed away.

 

“You realize what just happened, don’t you? I made a sodding fool of myself. Now Xander thinks I sit around here all day playing with myself while wearing women’s underwear. You think he won’t leap at the chance to spread that news to everyone he knows?” He asked irritated.

 

Buffy tried not to, but she burst out laughing.

 

“It’s not funny! It’s humiliating.” He said defensively.

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just, I have this mental picture in my head now.” She laughed.

 

He shot her an annoyed look and tossed his cigarette to the ground. He grabbed her shoulders and looked at her.

 

“You think that’s funny?” He asked pretending to be angry.

 

She saw through his anger and knew he was playing. She decided to play back.

 

“It _is_ funny. Maybe next time we could really try something new. You could put on my underwear…It could be really fun.” She said playfully.

 

His stern look melted into a smile. He pulled her into his arms.

 

“I’m all for trying new things love, but even that is too strange for me.” He told her.

 

“Good. Cause, I’m not sure I could keep a straight face. It’d probably ruin the mood.”

 

She kissed him quickly, then pulled out of his embrace. She picked up her panties and pulled them on. Then she managed to get the rest of her clothes in order.

 

“You leaving already?” He asked.

 

“Yeah. I really should.” She said as she pulled her shoes on.

 

He moved over to her and touched the top of her head, caressing her hair.

 

“Buffy?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Before Xander the wonder friend crashed in here, were you going to say something to me?” He asked softly.

 

He hadn’t forgotten about the tender moment that they had shared. He had been almost certain that she was going to tell him that she loved him. But the moment had been lost. He wanted to get it back.

 

She looked at him nervously. At the time, she thought she was ready to tell him. The timing seemed perfect and right. Now, her familiar denial had firmly taken root again and she just couldn’t do it.

 

“Um, I don’t remember. I-It probably wasn’t important.” She shrugged.

 

His look deflated and he moved away from her.

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’ll see you later, okay?” She smiled, as she kissed him one more time.

 

He watched as she left the room and he sat down on the bed. He was disappointed that she hadn’t said the words to him again. And maybe she never would. Maybe she’d never love him, but he still had more than he ever thought he would have with her. It wasn’t perfect, but nothing ever was. This was as close to heaven as he was ever going to get.

 

He decided that tonight, he’d do something nice for her. She had been into the tenderness and love thing with him today, so maybe she’d enjoy something like flowers. He smiled and made his decision to pick her up some roses before he saw her tonight.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

 

That evening, Spike headed over to see Buffy. He had gotten her some roses and he hoped that she didn’t think it was ridiculous. All women loved flowers, didn’t they? He asked himself. But for some reason with her, he never knew what to expect.

 

He headed up to her house and rang the doorbell. He placed the roses on the step and went over to stand behind a tree. He knew Buffy wouldn’t be happy if Dawn or Willow came to the door and found him standing there with flowers.

 

Buffy heard the doorbell, and went to answer it. She opened the door and saw the roses sitting at her feet. She smiled when she realized that he had still decided to bring them to her, even the second time around.

 

“Who’s at the door?” Dawn called out.

 

“No one. I’m going out to patrol. Don’t wait up.” She called out to Dawn.

 

She picked up the roses and stepped outside.

 

“Spike?” She called out.

 

He stepped out from behind the tree and smiled.

 

“You like them?” He asked somewhat nervously.

 

“The flowers are beautiful.” She told him sincerely. This was what she had wanted to tell him the first time, but she couldn’t get the words out.

 

“I hoped you would like them. I just thought since we were doing different things…” He said awkwardly.

 

“I love them.” She walked over and kissed him passionately.

 

He wrapped his arms around her and tried to fight the urge to fall down on the ground and take her right in her front yard. Finally, she pulled away breathlessly.

 

“So, how come you stopped by? I never got the chance to ask you that last time.” She told him.

 

He looked at her curiously.

 

“Last time?”

 

“Yeah. I-I mean, this time. I-I just meant, you hardly ever come here.” She stammered, realizing that she was confusing her days again.

 

“Oh, well, aside from the flowers, I just thought maybe we should have a look around the cemetery where we killed those vamps last night.” He told her.

 

“What vamps?”

 

“The ones with the shiny rock? You know, you were all pissy that he got away. I figured we better try and get a lead on what that thing was for.” He explained.

 

All of a sudden she realized that these vampires still had the crystal, and were still planning on wishing her existence away with it. She’d been so confused at first, then elated that Spike wasn’t dead, that she had forgotten all about the initial purpose of the crystal.

 

“I totally forgot! We have to stop them. Now.” She said quickly.

 

She ran up the steps and put her flowers down behind a planter. She’d make sure she remembered them later. Then she ran back down to Spike.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

“Wait. Where are we going? We don’t even know where he went.” He told her.

 

“I know where they are.”

 

She took his hand and pulled him down the street with her.

 

“How do you know where they are?” He asked.

 

“I just know. It’s a long story. But I found out what the crystal does. It grants wishes. They’re planning on wishing that I would die, or disappear or something.” She explained as they walked down the street.

 

“How’d you figure that?”

 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But we need to do it now before something bad happens. Last time, we went in too late.”

 

“Last time? Why do you keep saying things like that?” He asked quizzically.

 

She ignored his question and continued to walk just in front of him. She glanced over at him.

 

“You didn’t happen to run into Xander on your way over to my house tonight, did you?” She asked.

 

“Thankfully, no. You realize I’m still mad at you for making me humiliate myself.” He told her pointedly.

 

“I know, I know.” She muttered.

 

Obviously, Xander hadn’t gone to see Spike again. He had gone in the morning this time. Everything was so jumbled in her mind, she was having trouble remembering everything that had happened.

 

Just as they rounded a corner they were confronted with a large group of vampires, gathered in an alleyway. They stopped short and held back. But it was too late. They were noticed. Immediately, everyone sprang into action.

 

Buffy and Spike were severely outnumbered, but they were used to that. They swiftly began throwing punches and kicks, attempting to thin the herd.

 

“This didn’t happen the last time.” She muttered to herself.

 

Spike dusted two of the vampires at once with a large plank of wood he’d picked up off the ground. Buffy was doing her share with the two stakes that she was carrying, but it seemed like the vampires kept coming.

 

All at once, one of the larger ones grabbed her from behind and slammed her up against the side of the building, and held her there, with her face pressed against the cold concrete.

 

“You’re the Slayer, aren’t you?” He hissed into her ear.

 

“That would be me.” She choked out, as she tried to breathe.

 

She struggled against his grip, but he clearly had the upper hand.

 

“Everyone! We’ve got ourselves a Slayer!” He shouted at the group.

 

Spike delivered the death blow to one of the vamps and looked up when he heard the declaration. He saw Buffy pinned against the wall and he felt his stomach lurch. She was in trouble. He attempted to run over to help her, but was held back when two of the other vampires grabbed his arms. They were both in trouble now.

 

“You’re a vampire?” One of Spike’s captors asked.

 

“Yeah. So?”

 

“Why are you hanging around with the Slayer? Are you crazy?”

 

“I might be.”

 

“He’s just a traitor. Let’s dust em’.” Another one shouted out.

 

“No! We’re not gonna kill either one of them. Yet.” The largest vampire informed them, as he smashed Buffy’s head against the wall, rendering her unconscious.

 

“We’re gonna have some fun.” He smiled.

 

“Don’t touch her!” Spike shouted as he watched the vampire looming over Buffy’s unconscious body.

 

“Ah, isn’t that sweet. You’re all protective over your little Slayer. It’s touching, really.” The big vamp taunted him. “I think it’ll be fun for you to watch us rip her to pieces.” He smiled evilly.

 

Spike felt like he could throw up at the thought of what they had planned for her. Before he could think anymore about it, he saw the large plank of wood that he had been using as a weapon, come crashing into his face. He immediately slipped into blackness.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Buffy slowly began to come to. She couldn’t remember what had just happened. She opened her eyes slowly and saw that she was in a dark room of some kind. The room was lit with torches, and she tried to make out her surroundings.

 

She tried to move her arms and realized that they were tied firmly behind her back. She looked down and noticed that her ankles were bound as well. Next to her on the ground was Spike, still unconscious. He was tied up as well.

 

She attempted to scoot over closer to him, but it wasn’t easy. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

 

“This definitely didn’t happen before.” She muttered. “Probably because last time, I was still in my room busy being angry that Spike had told Xander about us.”

 

The sound of her rambling roused Spike awake. He noticed their predicament and tried to lift his head to see Buffy.

 

“You okay, pet?” He managed to choke out.

 

“Yeah. I mean, other than the fact we’re tied up in some stinky hellhole, I’m just fine.” She told him sarcastically.

 

“It’s not my fault.” He said defensively as he managed to upright himself.

 

“How long do you think we’ve been in here?” She asked him.

 

“I don’t know, but it’s been long enough. Can you get yourself untied?”

 

She wrenched her arms around and attempted to wiggle out of her restraints.

 

“No. It’s too tight.”

 

Just then, a door opened and two vampires walked in. Just behind them was largest one. The apparent leader of this gang.

 

“Oh good. You’re both awake. It wouldn’t have been as much fun if you were asleep.” He bent down and touched Buffy’s cheek. She pulled her face away quickly.

 

“Untie me, so I can kill you.” She said to him.

 

“Oh sure.” He said sarcastically. “How stupid do you think I am?”

 

“Pretty stupid if you think _you’re_ gonna kill _me_.” She told him with a determined look.

 

“Is that right?”

 

“She’s not as easy to kill as you might think.” Spike offered. “In fact last time she died, it didn’t take.”

 

“That’s right.” Buffy nodded.

 

“You’re both going to die this time, and trust me, it’ll take.” The vampire sneered.

 

He bent down over Buffy and went for her neck. She kicked her tied legs up and smashed them into his chest. He flew backwards and hit the wall. The two other vampires lunged for her. She kicked at one as she managed to head butt the other one.

 

Spike was trying desperately to free his hands, so he could help her out. She managed to knock the vampires away from her, and scooted over to Spike. They sat back to back and tried to get each others hands freed. The vampire leader, pulled himself up and saw what they were doing.

 

He went over and yanked them apart. He picked Spike up and hurled him into the wall. He slumped to the floor as the vampire grabbed Buffy by the throat. Her eyes grew wide as she looked over his shoulder.

 

“You shoulda just killed us when you had the chance, mate.” Spike said as he came up behind him.

 

The vampire whirled around just in time to see a freed Spike wielding one of the wooden torches. He jammed it into the vampires chest, sending him into a huge cloud of fire and ash. Before he could free Buffy, the other two vampires were descending on him. With one fluid motion, he spun around and jammed both ends of the torch into both of the vampires simultaneously. They exploded in a flash.

 

Spike dropped the torch and rushed over to Buffy who was sitting on the ground out of breath from her near strangulation. He untied her hands and feet quickly and helped her up.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked her.

 

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. We need to get out of here now. I don’t know how much time we have left.” She urged him. She was still worried about stopping the other group of vampires before they had a chance to use the crystal.

 

Spike picked up his torch and grabbed another to hand to Buffy.

 

“I have no idea how many more there are out there.” He told her seriously.

 

“Well, let’s hope we don’t have to fight them all. I have more important evil to fight tonight.” She told him as she headed off down the darkened corridor.

 

They soon realized that they were in the sewers somewhere. They heard voices coming from one direction, so they decided to go the other. At this point Buffy just wanted out of there. She didn’t want another confrontation if she could help it. They walked for a long time, and luckily it seemed that the vampires were all at the other end. Buffy turned to Spike.

 

“I think we can get out over there.” She said pointing to a metal ladder that led upwards.

 

They walked over and dropped their torches on the ground and snuffed them out. Buffy climbed up first and managed to lift the metal grate and toss it aside. She lifted herself out and Spike followed her.

 

They found themselves in the middle of the woods. Buffy looked around and felt a small pang of panic.

 

“Where the hell are we?” She asked him.

 

“Don’t know.” He shrugged.

 

“My God…What time is it?” She asked him.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t have a watch.” He told her.

 

“Crap. Neither do I. Look, we just have to try and find our way out of here. They couldn’t have dragged us too far.”

 

She grabbed his arm and they set off in what she hoped was the right direction. After awhile it seemed like they were walking in circles. Buffy was getting more and more agitated and concerned. Time was running out and she didn’t know what to do.

 

“Damn! None of this was supposed to happen.” She said as she kicked a rock in frustration.

 

“Calm down. We’ll get out of here.” He tried to reassure her.

 

“Spike we don’t have much time. If we don’t get that crystal, I’m history.” She told him seriously.

 

“I know.” He touched her face gently.

 

He didn’t want to think of losing her again. He’d already come too close tonight, and it was way more than he could handle.

 

“There isn’t even a moon out tonight, so I have no idea what direction we’re going. And it’s so dark. We should have kept the torches.”

 

He looked around and tried to get his senses. It was like they were walking through a maze. Finally he turned to her.

 

“Okay. We’ve gone this direction at least twice. We should turn around and head the other way. That’s bound to lead us somewhere. Hopefully out of here.” He told her.

 

“Fine.”

 

They turned around and began going the other way. After what seemed like hours, Buffy finally saw lights up ahead through the trees.

 

“Look! Lights! Thank God. Let’s go.”

 

She grabbed his hand and they both ran towards the lights. They made their way out of the woods and found that the streetlights had led them to the park. She knew that the office building was only a few blocks away. Buffy looked up at the sky and noticed just the faintest hint of light on the horizon.

 

“It’s gonna be light soon. You need to go home. I can take care of this myself.” She told him seriously.

 

“What? Are you mad? I’m not gonna let you do this alone. We have no idea what you’re walking into.”

 

“Yes, I do. I know exactly what I’m walking into. I can handle it.”

 

She walked quickly down the street. He followed behind her. She kept walking and turned to look at him.

 

“Spike, go home. I told you, I don’t want you to come with me.”

 

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving now.”

 

They came up to the office building and Buffy stopped to face him again. She looked at the sky and saw that it was growing lighter by the moment. She guessed that the sunrise was probably less than twenty minutes away. She grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

 

“Spike, please. I’m telling you to go. If you don’t—.”

 

“Why are you being like this? I don’t care if it’s almost daybreak. We’ll be inside anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you go in there alone.” He said firmly and seriously.

 

“If you go in there with me, you won’t be coming back out.” She said with tears welling in her eyes.

 

“Sure I will.”

 

“No, you won’t. I-I don’t have time to explain this, but I know how this is gonna end, Spike. And it won’t end well.” She bit back her tears.

 

She cursed herself for not taking care of this sooner. She knew this would happen, and she should have just come back here right away and taken the vampires off guard. Now everything was doomed to happen the exact same way as before. She couldn’t lose him again. But then she knew that if she went in alone, she’d probably be the one who wouldn’t make it out again. Either way, there would be no happy ending.

 

“Buffy, if something happens to you in there and I just run away, I couldn’t stand it. I won’t lose you again.” He told her as he wiped the tears off her face.

 

“But I don’t want to lose you either. So please, just go. Get home before the sun comes up. You don’t have much time.” She urged him.

 

Finally he realized she wasn’t going to give in. He leaned over and kissed her softly.

 

“Alright. But this isn’t goodbye. You’ll kick their asses, and then you’ll come to me and we’ll celebrate.” He smiled.

 

“Count on it.”

 

He kissed her again and she ran into the building. He sighed and looked at the sky. It was nearly morning and if he ran he could probably just make it home. He looked back up at the building where he knew his love was about to meet her fate again. He couldn’t stand that. There was no way he was going to go home so she could die in there. She said she had it covered and it would be okay, but something in her voice told him that she knew it wasn’t going to be.

 

“Bugger it. I’m going in.” He said to himself as he ran into the building.

 

Buffy was upstairs already and attempting to make her way over to where the crystal sat on the table. She had the upper hand slightly this time, since she already knew their moves from the last time. She staked one vampire, and before she could get another, she was grabbed from behind. Two more vampires descended upon her. She kicked them away, just as she had the last time. And to her shock and surprise, they exploded in a cloud of dust just as before.

 

Spike stood there with his stakes poised and he looked at her seriously.

 

“Sorry. I just couldn’t leave.” He told her as knocked one of the vampires away from him.

 

Buffy wrestled herself free and staked the one that had held her from behind.

 

“Spike, I told you to go. Why can’t you ever listen to me?” She asked angrily.

 

He was busy fighting two other vampires and didn’t answer her right away. He staked them, and looked over at her.

 

“What did you say?” He asked innocently.

 

“I said you never listen to me!” She shouted as she used her frustration to her advantage by twisting another vampires head clear off his neck.

 

He smiled at her and charged at a vamp who was coming up behind her. She ducked out of the way.

 

“Hold them off. I’m getting that crystal.” She told him.

 

“I got it covered. Go!” He told her.

 

“I _will_ have a happy ending even if it kills me. Which of course it probably will.” She muttered to herself as she set off.

 

She ran over to where Overhoff and his guardian were chanting over the crystal. They saw her running at them.

 

“Stop her! The spell is nearly complete! She cannot ruin this now!” Overhoff shouted.

 

The minion leapt at her but she was ready this time. She grabbed him by the throat and plunged her stake into his chest. She never even broke her stride this time. She jumped onto the table and kicked the crystal to the ground. Overhoff shrieked and pulled the tablecloth out from under her. She went crashing down, shattering the table beneath her.

 

She grabbed one of the table legs and leapt up to face him. He knocked her down and grabbed her by the throat. She kicked him hard between the legs and he instinctively grabbed himself in pain. She tossed him off of her, and she stood over him ready to plunge her makeshift stake into his chest. Suddenly she was thrown off her feet by another vampire who managed to slip past Spike who was battling with two others.

 

Buffy wrestled herself free from his grasp and jammed her stake into his chest. By now Overhoff was on his feet again. Spike had managed to dispatch the other two vampires and was on his way over to help Buffy. Overhoff grabbed her from behind and lifted her over his head. With one swift move he tossed her at the window again. As she flew through the air, she couldn’t help but want to cry.

 

It was happening all over again. No matter how hard she tried to change things and stop it, it was still happening. And the worst part was, she still never told Spike that she loved him. She had her second chance, and she blew it again. Her body crashed into the glass and she gripped the window ledge as tightly as she could.

 

Suddenly a thought went through her mind. Last time her arm had been twisted and injured. That didn’t happen this time. She felt stronger. Maybe this time, she could pull herself back in.

 

Spike saw Buffy fall out the window and he leapt on top of Overhoff. He plunged his stake into him quickly and rushed over to where Buffy was hanging on. He stood to the side, trying to shield himself from the sunlight that was now streaming into the room.

 

“Buffy? Can you pull yourself back in?” He asked frantically.

 

“I’m trying! Stay back! Don’t get near the window!” She shouted at him.

 

She tried to pull herself up, but it was still difficult because her hands were still cut. The broken glass was protruding from the window sill, cutting into her flesh.

 

Spike watched desperately as the woman he loved fought to keep from falling. He couldn’t stand this. He could not watch her die again. Not like this. Even if it meant he wouldn’t make it, he had to pull her in.

 

“I’m gonna get you in. Just hold on.” He told her as he searched for something to cover himself.

 

“No! Don’t! Spike, don’t do it! Please don’t do it!” She screamed at him with tears in her eyes.

 

He didn’t listen as he pulled the table cloth over himself and went to the window.

 

“Stay back! Give me the edge of the table cloth and you can pull me in that way. Just stay out of the sun, Spike.” She told him as she thought of another plan.

 

He nodded his head and twisted the table cloth into a mock rope. He tossed the end to her, and she managed to grab it quickly. She let go of the ledge and held on with both hands. Spike braced himself against the wall in the shadows and pulled as hard as he could. Buffy came crashing in through window and landed in a heap on the floor. Spike reeled back at the force of her entry and tumbled backwards, safely into the shadows.

 

Buffy took a moment to gather her wits and realize what had just happened. She looked over and saw Spike laying on his back in the corner of the room. She rushed over to him worried. She bent over him and noticed that he was smiling. The same smile he had given her before, when he had sacrificed himself for her.

 

“You’re safe.” He told her.

 

“You saved me.” She smiled at him through her tears of happiness.

 

“I did, didn’t I?” He smirked satisfied with himself.

 

“This time it counted.” She whispered as she bent down and kissed him softly.

 

She pulled back from him and looked around the room. They were alone now, as all the other vampires were dust. She looked back down at him and smiled. He pulled her down to him she kissed him hungrily. She’d almost lost him again and he’d almost lost her. This was how their lives would always be. She knew that. There wasn’t time to waste being afraid anymore. She knew that now.

 

“Spike?”

 

“Yes, pet?” He stroked her hair gently as he looked into her eyes.

 

“I should have said this before, but well…you know me. I’m a pain sometimes…” She started.

 

“Sometimes?” He asked sarcastically.

 

“Shut up. Okay, _a lot_ of the time.” She said rolling her eyes.

 

“It’s okay. I’m used to it.” He smirked.

 

“Will you just be quiet and let me talk? This is a very special moment and you’re ruining it for me.” She pouted.

 

“Sorry. Continue.” He said with a smile.

 

“Okay. What I’m trying to say is…I’m trying to say…”

 

“Spit it out already, will you?” He teased her.

 

“I love you, okay? I love you. There, I said it.”

 

“Was it as bad as you thought it would be?” He asked with a grin.

 

“Actually, it wasn’t so bad. I thought I might pass out there for a second, but I’m good.” She said with a shy smile.

 

“So, you love me, huh? Took you long enough to realize it. I’ve known for awhile now.” He said smugly.

 

“Please. You did not.”

 

“Yes I did.”

 

“Fine. You’re always right.” She mocked him.

 

He grabbed her arms and pulled her down onto his chest. He looked into her eyes.

 

“What made you decide to finally say it?” He asked curiously.

 

She looked at him and kissed him softly.

 

“Sometimes, you just don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” She told him.

 

He wasn’t really sure what she meant by that, but he didn’t question her. He didn’t really care why she had said it, as long as she said it. He glanced over her shoulder at the sunlight streaming across the middle of the room.

 

“Sun’s up. Looks like I’m stuck here for awhile.” He told her with a seductive glance.

 

“Look’s like. Wonder what we could do to pass the time?” She asked innocently.

 

“I’m sure we could think of something.” He said as he flipped her over onto her back and began kissing her passionately.

 

They soon lost themselves in their passion and their clothes were discarded. They made love wildly in the darkened corner of the room, and Buffy hadn’t felt this happy in a very long time. Afterwards, they lay together, wrapped in the table cloth that he had used to save her.

 

She lay her head on his chest and smiled contentedly as he stroked her hair. She looked up at him.

 

“Don’t you just love it when you get a happy ending?” She asked dreamily.

 

“Yeah. I wish that you and I could always have the happy ending.” He smiled at her.

 

She laid her head back down and closed her eyes. Neither one of them noticed that the crystal that was lying amidst the rubble of the table had begun to glow and hum softly. In a flash it, went back to being dormant. Unbeknownst to them, they had just sealed their fate with a wish.

 

The End


End file.
